tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post5100040204810519957..comments2024-03-25T06:18:09.620-06:00Comments on Dear Ethel,: The BlessingBeahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15972291927652716856noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post-68687765562617832012007-08-21T06:55:00.000-06:002007-08-21T06:55:00.000-06:00I was really sad reading this and felt so badly fo...I was really sad reading this and felt so badly for you having to carry around those feelings all of your life. <BR/><BR/>I agree with you that it's wrong to believe that you should have died. <BR/><BR/>I have felt a bit like you have that my family would have been better off if I hadn't been born but I've also come to see that, well, frankly, the train wreck that makes my family my family would have carried on with or without me. Pain and trouble would have been there for them. I think it's true for your or anyone else's family. Some things are set in motion long before we arrive. Sometimes the storms centers on the person who did the least harm, like you as a baby and young girl. It's not fair at all and I'm so sorry for all of the pain you've gone through. <BR/><BR/>By you living and surviving,you are proof that there are miracles out of messes. But there has always been something wonderful about you; there's some spark in you that draws people to you and provokes a reaction. Sometimes it's been good for you and I know at other times, it's been incredibly awful. You are not a lukewarm person at all. Your posts are really amazing, inspirational, sad at times, but always hopeful and optimistic in the end.Lori G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02167055316077502640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post-89395661379836022862007-08-20T16:16:00.000-06:002007-08-20T16:16:00.000-06:00I can not imagine the courage it took for you to w...I can not imagine the courage it took for you to write this post. I am crying reading it. The deep hurt, always present even in moments of joy.<BR/>I thank God for you. I thank God I found your blog. I read you everyday and miss the days you dont write.<BR/>Without you the world would definitly have less light. And God knows we need all the light we can get. <BR/> As a teenager I always said I didnt want children (actually I never believed a man would want to marry me). I have, on occasion, jokingly told my 3 beautiful gifts that I never wanted children, they are all the result of their Dad. After reading your post, I will never say this again. Ever.<BR/>Thank you, CarolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post-58765642645423855392007-08-20T15:09:00.000-06:002007-08-20T15:09:00.000-06:00I wasn't named until about 10 days after my birth....I wasn't named until about 10 days after my birth. My mother had wanted a son -"Little David" as she would call me when pulling my hair back to make me look like a boy. She use to say to my dad, when pulling my hair back "this is what little David would have looked like if Martha Jean had been a boy instead of a girl." This was when I was in my teens!!!! It hurt a lot. Then when I got married she told me she would buy shoes for all my boys but never a thing about what she would buy for a girl. I never had a girl so I never found out what she would have done - I know my folks bought lots of shoes for our boys. Love, MartiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post-74416283000192193452007-08-20T14:21:00.000-06:002007-08-20T14:21:00.000-06:00Congratulations on the discovery of the core belie...Congratulations on the discovery of the core belief. I am beginning to believe that all of us have one, a core belief that is negative about ourselves, about our very existence. You know I have been facing mine all summer. It has been painful but also miraculous. We get to pick now, our beliefs. We get to believe in new things. I am very happy you were born, and that you survived. thanks for sharing your life with us.Cindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06400492104098347769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post-66276706323991266472007-08-20T14:01:00.000-06:002007-08-20T14:01:00.000-06:00My mother and I were having a conversation - years...My mother and I were having a conversation - years ago - where she said several times - at least I had you - at least you have your life - or something of the like. As in - be thankful. I did not feel thankful at that time. I thought everyone - including me - mostly me - would have been much better off - had I not been born. This conversation was after all my children were born. I could not feel thankful that I (and therefore they) had been born. At the worst moments, I felt so sorry for them, that they had the misfortunte to me born to someone one who was so lacking. It seemed that in my mind at that time - I felt bad that I hadn't realized how lacking I was - before I burdened them with having ME as a mother. I spent a lot of time feeling this way. I have also felt very bad that my husband got "stuck" with me - seems he deserved so much better. I am getting better about all this - learning to come to grips that all I can do is my best. Learning to come to grips that my kidw will probably have flaws that ARE because of me - that I probably can't do anything about at this point. My kids are so great - but I still feel very bad about the mom/me that they "got stuck with". I do better all the time - but not nearly what I wish I could.Vickiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05452333714845476967noreply@blogger.com