tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post8011008159279382405..comments2024-03-25T06:18:09.620-06:00Comments on Dear Ethel,: The CreepBeahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15972291927652716856noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post-8515047440644629792007-05-04T14:00:00.000-06:002007-05-04T14:00:00.000-06:00i know this is difficult for you, Bea. it hurts to...i know this is difficult for you, Bea. it hurts to read your words referring to yourself as selfish, as a creep. it just seems to me that you're having your own trials and difficulties right now and rushing to the aid of another isn't in the cards for you.<BR/><BR/>sometimes we just have to apologize and go on. nobody is perfect. we will always let others down as they will us. <BR/><BR/>i know life hands us plenty of situations in which we have to step up, regardless of how we feel. but in this case, your friend has said "don't come" and still the club over your head. <BR/><BR/>woulda shoulda coulda, the triple word antidote to happiness. i gained over 100 pounds going past my limits every single day for more than a year. it is not extreme to say it nearly killed me. no is not a dirty word.BigAssBellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00196713522104157126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post-77287486624694286302007-05-03T11:20:00.000-06:002007-05-03T11:20:00.000-06:00You are not a creep at all. It is tricky, these si...You are not a creep at all. It is tricky, these situations. And it sounds like maybe some guilt from your past could be coloring your thinking in the present situation. My parents are in their seventies, and my dad has alzheimers (sp?) now, in the early to middle stages perhaps. There are times when I want to go help out, and my Mom says not to, not because she is not wanting to put me out, but because sometimes having extra people around can cause more stress. My sister lives in CA and visited recently, after being with them she came to my house with the attitude that it was an emergency that we all do something. I called Mom and asked if she wanted me to bring my brother down to help out with some things, and she said to wait, that they were worn out from my sister's visit. I feel like I should be doing more, but what I am doing is asking regularly what I can do to help, and what she wants, then trying to also respect some of their boundaries, too. Under the circumstances, I want to spend as much time as I can with my Dad, so there may be times when she says to stay home, when I may insist on coming, or simply surprise them. It is a two hour drive, and I used to think I had to spend a day there for it to be worth the drive. What I have realized now is that even if I spend the four hours round trip driving and I only stay a while, it is still worth it for all of us. The longer visits may be more taxing for them. Not sure why I am rambling with all these details, it just seemed along the same topic. Wanting to help, not knowing exactly what to do, or how, under the circumstances. They told you not to come right now, but by weekend, they may be up for a visit. No creeps here, really.Cindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06400492104098347769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post-67189568756235370092007-05-02T20:19:00.000-06:002007-05-02T20:19:00.000-06:00I'm so sorry about your friend. I can tell that s...I'm so sorry about your friend. I can tell that she is not the only one shaken up; however, this is very mysterious to me. She got banged up, not put in the I.C.U. Her husband told you not to come because your visit would place additional stress on them. Why is it hard to stay home, wish them well, and offer to come if needed? It seems like your presence is not required. None of this makes you a creep. Even if she asked for you but you felt unable to go, you would not be a creep. You would be a person who understood her own limits and understood that she is not responsible for anyone else besides herself. If, after taking care of herself, she found she had leftover energy to devote to others, she would.Debrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05414508208712819014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2668796948874901630.post-24747931844957978002007-05-02T17:51:00.000-06:002007-05-02T17:51:00.000-06:00Tough choice. You are not a creep. You live 400 mi...Tough choice. You are not a creep. You live 400 miles away - what is that 5-6 hours? Wait until the weekend when you can go with your husband. It will be easier on you, you still get to see you friends, and their other friends can do some things to help out in the meantime.Charityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00484038336468006126noreply@blogger.com