Garden of Life

This week I read three blogs that touched my heart. Cindy, Lori and Nory all had information I needed.

Lori is tired. Mee too. Half the damn time. And no it is not a physical problem. I am fairly healthy. The thing is, I work weird. I go at stuff like I am killing snakes or I sit on my aspirations and do nothing. Both wear me out. And then I want to eat. Has taken me years to realize I don't do well if I get too tired. But...I was raised to believe that only tired people were worthwhile people. Being tired was a sign of hard work. And only HARD work was acceptable. If work did not wear you out completely it was not worthwhile!

One of my aunts was healthier than her sisters. She knew her capacity for work and paced herself. She even took breaks and stopped for lunch! She was routinely and roundly castigated by the other women in the family. Lois was lazy. And worst of all, she admitted to being tired, and rested!!! Funny thing is, my Aunt Lois had a spotless home, three wholesome homemade meals on the table everyday, clean and ironed clothes, an overflowing pantry of home canned goods, and the most beautiful flower garden I have ever seen. It was a mystery to her exhausted slovenly sisters how this lazy, gripey woman managed to get all this done. Maybe she had help (this was code for a verboten cleaning lady).

Because Mom was sick I spent much of my early childhood with my Aunt Lois. I learned her secrets for a balanced life. Alack and alas, I am my adopted mother's daughter. I was born a perfectionist so her workaholism and black and white pattern for living found fertile soil. I am very much like her. Blood is not necessarily thicker than water. But...I also internalized Aunt Lois' credo, and the two opposite ways of living are forever at war within me. No wonder I am tired. Here is how Aunt Lois got it all done.

Set a realistic goal and time frame for a project. Start early, in the day and on the project. Prioritize. Do the awful stuff first. Work for fifteen minute increments at the awful stuff and then go and do something else more enjoyable. Only do one thing at a time. Have set rest periods and a quitting time. Rest and quit on time. Reward yourself (not with food Bea) for time spent on a project, not just the for the finished product. Realize most things take longer and are harder to accomplish than you had planned. Be prepared for snags in the process. Have an end goal and stop when you have reached your goal. Celebrate when you are done.

I usually don't do any of that so I end up frustrated and tired. I have trouble getting started and then I have trouble stopping. No wonder getting things done is so exhausting.

I guess I have a choice.

Take care of yourselves. Love Bea