Bless you all and especially bless Vickie. Yep. Co-dependant as heck.
Our friend is holding his own in the hospital and his wife is fairly comfortable at the hospital hotel. I would walk through fire for these people, but this time I didn't have too. I am at home. God resolved this situation for me and I am grateful. But...
I have let other friends take advantage of my health care experience. It is hard to stop being a nurse. I am old enough that when I went to school it was not a vocation I was trained for but an avocation. I didn't take the veil, I took the Cap. I haven't practised in almost fifteen years and yet when people ask me what I do for a living I tell them I used to be a nurse. I am not ashamed of being a homemaker, I just still see myself as a nurse.
And I am sick to death of people telling me about all their health care woes. "My own fault' she is quick to add. I frequently ask about the various problems and then offer unsolicited advice. I don't know how to relate to people other than as a nurse. Only now I want to quit. I have one friend whose phone calls I am avoiding because all she wants to talk about is her health. Make that three friends. I have dug my own grave and can't figure out how to get up out of it gracefully. I say gracefully because I did try to put a stop to the health care calls of one friend and it ended our friendship.
I do not want to be selfish and hard hearted, but I am beginning to feel like EVERYONE is a hypochondriac. I do not want to know about anyone's body fluids but my own. I am bored with ill health. That is the main reason I quit nursing. It is sooooooo boring. At least it was for me. With my health care callers I have tried to switch the conversations around to other topics that interest me. No dice. We end up back at signs and symptoms and meds and doctors. I am sick (no-pun intended) of being informative and supportive.
Plan of Action:
1. Do not ask about any one's health.
2. If asked for advice tell advisee I have been out of the profession so long my information would be all out of date. (too true)
3. If caller will not talk about anything other than health problems tell them I got troubles of my own and then tell them some.
4. Stop identifying myself as a nurse!!!!!
Now I am going to go back and reread all of those comments. Take care. Love Bea
5 comments:
I have found that as I age, my friends' litany of woe grows by leaps and bounds. It seems like all anyone wants to talk about any more is what is WRONG with them. Granted, some of these people are suffering enormously. Others just like an excuse to talk (more) about themselves.
Can't we talk about what you are reading? Haven't you been anywhere fascinating? What would you like to do? Where would you like to go? What are your hopes and dreams? What's for dinner? ANYTHING but your latest test, procedure, surgery etc.
I am sooo "with" you on this post!!!
I think that is a great plan.. People used to tell me there legal problems when they found out I was a paralegal. I don't get that so much anymore. But I just tell them I don't know anything about domestic law (that's usually the type of stuff I used to hear about). And I don't. Glad you are posting. miss you when you don't
I think that is a great plan.. People used to tell me there legal problems when they found out I was a paralegal. I don't get that so much anymore. But I just tell them I don't know anything about domestic law (that's usually the type of stuff I used to hear about). And I don't. Glad you are posting. miss you when you don't
It does sound like a good plan.
I picture you with a rubber band by the phone - putting it on and SNAPPING yourself if you start to "nurse talk" - not suggesting you physically do that - but mentally - might help.
We all seem to fall back into the patterns of what we KNOW. I do. You do. We all do. Even if we don't actually LIKE what we have always done - that's what we seem to DO.
I would like to share that my health is quite good. No stories or questions here. . .
I don't mind giving people advice on health matters, it's if they want physical care that I draw the line. Nosiree bob. There's lots of resources for that.
I don't get a lot of requests for help though. When I tell people I'm a clinical research nurse coordinator, they tend to change the subject quickly as no one knows what the hell that is.
I'm wondering though, why I've never encouraged my kids to follow in my path? Jobs are plentiful anywhere you want to live, but I'd rather not see my children be nurses. Hmmm, need to dig deep for the answer to that someday. May be too painful of an answer.
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