Consider the chocolate covered peanut. Brittle outer candy coated shell, soft inner rich sumptuous layer and finally the firm center core. As God is my witness I am that nut.
Told dear sister-in-law yesterday that I am depressed because I am fat. She countered very firmly, "No you are fat because you are depressed." Great, one more thing to think about.
Hope you all had a nice Christmas. I did. Can you believe it? Christmas morning I got out of bed and the depression fell off of me onto the floor. I stepped smartly over it and went to open my presents. I felt great all day and have felt fineish for the past few days. I even rearranged the living room.
What the heck is happening to me? I am worn out from emoting. I am also worn out with the food battle. Those of us with a food problem should be able to go into hibernation for the months of November and December. Maybe I am just exhausted and depressed from the exertion of fighting off fudge. Hey I made a joke. Progress.
But seriously, am I hopeless because I am fat or fat because I am hopeless? I have always assumed the former. I think I have a food problem by which I feel helplessly engulfed, and that depresses me. Any thoughts?
Take care and thanks. Just thanks. Love Bea
4 comments:
I feel hopeless because I am fat. The one point in my life where I was "thin", I was invincible. I felt great, everyday was thrilling and filled with possibilities. I enjoyed meeting people and I smiled more in public. I laced up my red Reeboks with anticipation of the high I was to get with running. I set higher and higher running goals. 5-6 miles, no sweat.
Now, I just get through another day.
I lost weight and was still depressed. The two are related, though but more like the weight is one way I deal with the depression. But it is a self destructive one. I am glad you had a nice Christmas. Maybe getting it out there that you get depressed at the holidays helped. I am just glad you had a nice day and that you are posting more. I pudged up for the holidays a little because I just did not have the energy to resist things. I did some couch therapy, that is, laying on the couch eating popcorn watching movies. I don't know where this is going so I will stop, just thanks for posting!!
I think that the fat comes from the inside...so I guess I'm voting for "I'm fat because I'm depressed (or whatever)".
May your New Year be filled with interesting questions and thoughts! :-)
Dear Bea,
I have wandered upon your blog and feel a kinship with you. I too am a Christian struggling with my weight. I have been working on my weight (trying to lose) for almost a year- I have lost 100 lbs so far, but I am struggling to not fall back in the same pit I was in before I started this journey. As the holidays have come and gone, I have found myself 3 lbs heavier than I was before I started my Christmas vacation. And now, I am finding that it is hard to get myself back in the mentality of eating right. I really have to say that God's grace has gotten me this far, and I really am praying that He will give me the strength to continue, and the strength to maintain. My prayer is that God will help me break the bonds that hold me in regards to eating.
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