1. Continual salvation.
2. Theology of suffering.
3. Saving us vs. saving me.
4. Where the buck stops (the Vatican).
5. Pressing on to the high calling (Good Works).
6. A great cloud of witnesses (Saints).
7. Mary, my loving Mother.
8. Sin, I'm accountable.
9. Dipped or Dunked?
10. Loving my incarnation.
I am in the process of converting to the Catholic Church. What was supposed to be a stop gap measure en route to another Protestant membership has forever changed my life. I am wayyyy out of my comfort zone. Thanks be to God.
I never thought about the Reformation. Luther and all those questions were not a part of my early religious training. I was not aquainted with Reformation Protestantism let alone the Church it was hell bent on protesting and reforming. I heard the Nicene Creed first when I was in my thirties. I was ignorant. I remained ignorant in spite of my involvement in several mainline denominations, and study for a masters degree in medieval religious history. I was raised to be a Pentecostal Fundamentalist. This non-traditional understanding of God's love for us has had a death like grip on me. Or more truthfully I have had a death like grip on it. Just now at 55 am I able to loosen my hold on what at best was a lot of nonsense and at worst, wrong. What I was taught as a child did not contain the whole Truth. But I believed it hook, line and sinker. Why, and why did it take me so long to come to Truth? God only knows. I make the last statement in faith.
This blog is evolving as am I. I will now be writing more about my faith journey than my physical journey. I will begin by writing posts about the differences I see between my quasi Protestant understanding of God and my dawning Catholic understanding of God. I expect to see my expanded faith with more clarity at time goes on. I am currently seeing through a glass darkly but things are lightening up daily.
Okay enough for now. Love Bea
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Differences
1. Continual salvation.
2. Theology of suffering.
3. Saving us vs. saving me.
4. Where the buck stops (the Vatican).
5. Pressing on to the high calling (Good Works).
6. A great cloud of witnesses (Saints).
7. Mary, my loving Mother.
8. Sin, I'm accountable.
9. Dipped or Dunked?
10. Loving my incarnation.
I am in the process of converting to the Catholic Church. What was supposed to be a stop gap measure en route to another Protestant membership has forever changed my life. I am wayyyy out of my comfort zone. Thanks be to God.
I never thought about the Reformation. Luther and all those questions were not a part of my early religious training. I was not acquainted with Reformation Protestantism let alone the Church it was hell bent on protesting and reforming. I heard the Nicene Creed first when I was in my thirties. I was ignorant. I remained ignorant in spite of my involvement in several mainline denominations, and study for a masters degree in medieval religious history. I was raised to be a Pentecostal Fundamentalist. This non-traditional understanding of God's love for us has had a death like grip on me. Or more truthfully I have had a death like grip on it. Just now at 55 am I able to loosen my hold on what at best was a lot of nonsense and at worst, wrong. What I was taught as a child did not contain the whole Truth. But I believed it hook, line and sinker. Why, and why did it take me so long to come to Truth? God only knows. I make the last statement in faith.
This blog is evolving as am I. I will now be writing more about my faith journey than my physical journey. I will begin by writing posts about the differences I see between my quasi Protestant understanding of God and my dawning Catholic understanding of God. I expect to see my expanded faith with more clarity at time goes on. I am currently seeing through a glass darkly but things are lightening up daily.
Okay enough for now. Love Bea
2. Theology of suffering.
3. Saving us vs. saving me.
4. Where the buck stops (the Vatican).
5. Pressing on to the high calling (Good Works).
6. A great cloud of witnesses (Saints).
7. Mary, my loving Mother.
8. Sin, I'm accountable.
9. Dipped or Dunked?
10. Loving my incarnation.
I am in the process of converting to the Catholic Church. What was supposed to be a stop gap measure en route to another Protestant membership has forever changed my life. I am wayyyy out of my comfort zone. Thanks be to God.
I never thought about the Reformation. Luther and all those questions were not a part of my early religious training. I was not acquainted with Reformation Protestantism let alone the Church it was hell bent on protesting and reforming. I heard the Nicene Creed first when I was in my thirties. I was ignorant. I remained ignorant in spite of my involvement in several mainline denominations, and study for a masters degree in medieval religious history. I was raised to be a Pentecostal Fundamentalist. This non-traditional understanding of God's love for us has had a death like grip on me. Or more truthfully I have had a death like grip on it. Just now at 55 am I able to loosen my hold on what at best was a lot of nonsense and at worst, wrong. What I was taught as a child did not contain the whole Truth. But I believed it hook, line and sinker. Why, and why did it take me so long to come to Truth? God only knows. I make the last statement in faith.
This blog is evolving as am I. I will now be writing more about my faith journey than my physical journey. I will begin by writing posts about the differences I see between my quasi Protestant understanding of God and my dawning Catholic understanding of God. I expect to see my expanded faith with more clarity at time goes on. I am currently seeing through a glass darkly but things are lightening up daily.
Okay enough for now. Love Bea
Friday, May 4, 2012
Calories
I have been out of touch for a month. Vickie in that time you went private. If you are still checking in here I DO WANT TO READ YOUR BLOG. Helen has my email address. Please send me the password or whatever I need to get to the blog.
Much is changing in my life. I will be confirmed on Pentecost. I will be a Catholic. I am being given a new way to look at life and myself. Many scales have dropped from my eyes. The combination of counseling and RCIA classes have given me new lenses. I am grateful.
Again I learn the lesson of calories. I bought a couple of books touting the benefits of low glycemic carbs and weight loss. As I dearly wanted to hang on to bread, pasta and cookies I put the diet plan into action. I also decided to count calories again. I want to weigh 150 lbs. so I ate 1500 calories a day, including many low glycemic carbs. The outcome will not shock anyone. I gained weight.
My body wants protein, dairy, veg and fruit with small amounts of whole grains, legumes and potatoes thrown in for good measure. Sugar and flour in any amounts stall weight loss, pack on the pounds, and make me feel sick. I am very sad about this seeming life time sentence of deprivation.
But...I have a choice to look at my body type through new lenses. Some people have blue eyes and some have brown. Some people can well utilize carbs and some can't. I am a can't. It is genetic. I can tilt at windmills or accept the obvious. I accept the obvious. I am learning about "offering up" my trials and tribulations. I am offering up my sorrow at not being able to tolerate carbs. I am also anticipating joy in learning to practise mortification with my habit of overeating.
Okay all for now. Take care. Bea
Much is changing in my life. I will be confirmed on Pentecost. I will be a Catholic. I am being given a new way to look at life and myself. Many scales have dropped from my eyes. The combination of counseling and RCIA classes have given me new lenses. I am grateful.
Again I learn the lesson of calories. I bought a couple of books touting the benefits of low glycemic carbs and weight loss. As I dearly wanted to hang on to bread, pasta and cookies I put the diet plan into action. I also decided to count calories again. I want to weigh 150 lbs. so I ate 1500 calories a day, including many low glycemic carbs. The outcome will not shock anyone. I gained weight.
My body wants protein, dairy, veg and fruit with small amounts of whole grains, legumes and potatoes thrown in for good measure. Sugar and flour in any amounts stall weight loss, pack on the pounds, and make me feel sick. I am very sad about this seeming life time sentence of deprivation.
But...I have a choice to look at my body type through new lenses. Some people have blue eyes and some have brown. Some people can well utilize carbs and some can't. I am a can't. It is genetic. I can tilt at windmills or accept the obvious. I accept the obvious. I am learning about "offering up" my trials and tribulations. I am offering up my sorrow at not being able to tolerate carbs. I am also anticipating joy in learning to practise mortification with my habit of overeating.
Okay all for now. Take care. Bea
Friday, April 13, 2012
Spring
Is here. Last year at this time we had five inches of snow on the ground. I am over the moon about greenish grass and birds. The dogs think they have died and gone to heaven.
I am on an even keel. Still working on willpower. Is an uphill battle, but winnable.
We may be doing some traveling. I am looking forward to a wine tour in Nampa Idaho. Who knew. Also a trolley ride and a night at the opera. (I sound like Groucho Marx.) Nothing more to report.
Keep smiling. Lynn
I am on an even keel. Still working on willpower. Is an uphill battle, but winnable.
We may be doing some traveling. I am looking forward to a wine tour in Nampa Idaho. Who knew. Also a trolley ride and a night at the opera. (I sound like Groucho Marx.) Nothing more to report.
Keep smiling. Lynn
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Differences
This post is indirectly about fat.
I am in the process of switching my Christian tradition. I have been a Fundamentalish Protestant Christian for forty years. I am now ponderously moving toward the Catholic tradition. Is different. Fundamentally, no pun intended, different. I am not talking about The Real Presence in the Eucharist, Mariology, Purgatory, confession or Saintly intercession. Those are given differences. This is something else. Something I am having a hard time grasping. It has to do with self respect and self love.
I was taught to regard myself as a sinner saved by Grace. My past, present and future sins were forgiven if and when I repented, but my soul would always retain the effects of original sin. I was going to Heaven because of Christ's sacrifice on the Cross but my life on earth would be fraught with sin because of my "original sin" nature. I would spend my life being a victim of Satan who had access to my soul (and my actions) through my sin nature. I could expect my life to be a litany (no pun) of sin and repentance. I was going to sin, I had no choice, it was part and parcel of who I was. It was my job was to be on constant alert for sin and promptly repent of it. I was also taught all sin was the same in the eyes of God. He cannot look at sin so swearing and murder brought the same end, separation from God. I have spent years feeling like a sinful worm grateful to a picky god who out of regal magnanimity was willing to "save a wretch like me."
Okay so I began attending these RCIA classes. My husband calls them Roman Catholic Indoctrination Activities. The first thing they told me is that my original sin was removed when I was baptized. What???? Removed???? Who came up with that crack pot notion? Jesus it turns out. My whole world suddenly flipped on its' head. This was in the first damn class. (I am also learning about mortal and venial sin.) If I was not, while in this mortal coil, bent irrevocably by and toward sin who was I? It has taken me a couple of months to figure it out.
I am not a sinner. I am the Beloved of God made in the Triune Image and given His greatest gifts, life and choice. Yes there is a tempter and I will always be tempted. Sometimes I will sin because I am willful. But, Oh I love that word, but, I can choose not to sin. I am not condemned by my very nature to sin. Was painful to believe myself both the agent of sin and the sinned against. I was at war within. My nature is not sinner or victim of sin but Beloved. Good News indeed.
Now what does all of that have to do with fat? If I am not at my very core a sinner but a Beloved I (who sometimes gives in to the temptation and makes poor choices) can and should love and respect myself. I am not a victim of Lucifer or his minion me. I am a free Beloved. Who the Son has set free is free indeed. I do not have to live an out of control sin-full life. I have choice. I have free will. I have a working will. I thought it was broken. Bent by sin and never to be of any use to me. NOT. I am not a victim. Thanks be to God.
Damn. I may be going overboard with this venial sin thing. My obsession with sugar is not gone. I still eat over my emotions...but I don't have to. I can make different choices. I most time still make bad choices. I am cutting myself some slack. My will is weak. I haven't used it in forty years. I pray for strength and have started exercising my will. I don't like the exercise. It hurts. I am a whimp and lazy. But, I am a Beloved lazy whimp not a victimized stuck sinner. And it makes all the difference.
Pray for me as I will for thee.
Love Bea
I am in the process of switching my Christian tradition. I have been a Fundamentalish Protestant Christian for forty years. I am now ponderously moving toward the Catholic tradition. Is different. Fundamentally, no pun intended, different. I am not talking about The Real Presence in the Eucharist, Mariology, Purgatory, confession or Saintly intercession. Those are given differences. This is something else. Something I am having a hard time grasping. It has to do with self respect and self love.
I was taught to regard myself as a sinner saved by Grace. My past, present and future sins were forgiven if and when I repented, but my soul would always retain the effects of original sin. I was going to Heaven because of Christ's sacrifice on the Cross but my life on earth would be fraught with sin because of my "original sin" nature. I would spend my life being a victim of Satan who had access to my soul (and my actions) through my sin nature. I could expect my life to be a litany (no pun) of sin and repentance. I was going to sin, I had no choice, it was part and parcel of who I was. It was my job was to be on constant alert for sin and promptly repent of it. I was also taught all sin was the same in the eyes of God. He cannot look at sin so swearing and murder brought the same end, separation from God. I have spent years feeling like a sinful worm grateful to a picky god who out of regal magnanimity was willing to "save a wretch like me."
Okay so I began attending these RCIA classes. My husband calls them Roman Catholic Indoctrination Activities. The first thing they told me is that my original sin was removed when I was baptized. What???? Removed???? Who came up with that crack pot notion? Jesus it turns out. My whole world suddenly flipped on its' head. This was in the first damn class. (I am also learning about mortal and venial sin.) If I was not, while in this mortal coil, bent irrevocably by and toward sin who was I? It has taken me a couple of months to figure it out.
I am not a sinner. I am the Beloved of God made in the Triune Image and given His greatest gifts, life and choice. Yes there is a tempter and I will always be tempted. Sometimes I will sin because I am willful. But, Oh I love that word, but, I can choose not to sin. I am not condemned by my very nature to sin. Was painful to believe myself both the agent of sin and the sinned against. I was at war within. My nature is not sinner or victim of sin but Beloved. Good News indeed.
Now what does all of that have to do with fat? If I am not at my very core a sinner but a Beloved I (who sometimes gives in to the temptation and makes poor choices) can and should love and respect myself. I am not a victim of Lucifer or his minion me. I am a free Beloved. Who the Son has set free is free indeed. I do not have to live an out of control sin-full life. I have choice. I have free will. I have a working will. I thought it was broken. Bent by sin and never to be of any use to me. NOT. I am not a victim. Thanks be to God.
Damn. I may be going overboard with this venial sin thing. My obsession with sugar is not gone. I still eat over my emotions...but I don't have to. I can make different choices. I most time still make bad choices. I am cutting myself some slack. My will is weak. I haven't used it in forty years. I pray for strength and have started exercising my will. I don't like the exercise. It hurts. I am a whimp and lazy. But, I am a Beloved lazy whimp not a victimized stuck sinner. And it makes all the difference.
Pray for me as I will for thee.
Love Bea
Monday, March 19, 2012
New Directions
Much is happening in my life and I don't really want to talk about it. Tilt, tilt.
I always want to be heard by all and sundry. Why else blog? I have been willing to open the doors of my life to strangers, and like Blanche I have looked for and relied on their kindness. I found it in spades. So what is the deal? In the past when I stopped blogging it was because I didn't have the energy to put fingers to keyboard. This is different. Blogging now feels invasive. I find I no longer want to share the details of my life. Suddenly my inner and maybe even outer life seem private.
Don't know what this new boundary will mean for the blog. Only time will tell.
Take care. Love Bea
I always want to be heard by all and sundry. Why else blog? I have been willing to open the doors of my life to strangers, and like Blanche I have looked for and relied on their kindness. I found it in spades. So what is the deal? In the past when I stopped blogging it was because I didn't have the energy to put fingers to keyboard. This is different. Blogging now feels invasive. I find I no longer want to share the details of my life. Suddenly my inner and maybe even outer life seem private.
Don't know what this new boundary will mean for the blog. Only time will tell.
Take care. Love Bea
Friday, February 24, 2012
Time Out
It has been almost a month since last I posted.
I have had the flu. The cat was spayed and declawed. Other cat got sick. Husband had an out of town trial. I quit my church. Washing machine and dryer broke. Six hundred million feet of snow fell. The sun is shining today.
Therapy visit was tres beneficial. Emotional Deprivation Disorder results from lack of unconditional love in childhood. This lack of love stunts emotional growth. The body, intellect and to some degree the spirit mature, but many emotions remain immature. Ipso facto, you end up as an adult attempting to navigate the "grown-up" world with child like emotional reactions. The cure is unconditional love in the stunted areas. How does this work? Beats me. I am still in the process of going through my history.
Okay all for now. I am actually vacuuming and was shanghaied by the computer.
Love Bea
I have had the flu. The cat was spayed and declawed. Other cat got sick. Husband had an out of town trial. I quit my church. Washing machine and dryer broke. Six hundred million feet of snow fell. The sun is shining today.
Therapy visit was tres beneficial. Emotional Deprivation Disorder results from lack of unconditional love in childhood. This lack of love stunts emotional growth. The body, intellect and to some degree the spirit mature, but many emotions remain immature. Ipso facto, you end up as an adult attempting to navigate the "grown-up" world with child like emotional reactions. The cure is unconditional love in the stunted areas. How does this work? Beats me. I am still in the process of going through my history.
Okay all for now. I am actually vacuuming and was shanghaied by the computer.
Love Bea
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