Friday, July 17, 2009

Still MIA

Gad it has been almost two weeks since I have even been near the computer. Summer has hit with a vengeance. Has finally warmed up and lawn and plants are growing like weeds. So are the weeds. Visitors and socializing are at an all time high. I almost long for a snow day. Strike that comment with a stick. It froze the week before last during the night. I no want cold no more.

I went to my physical and mamo apts. I have been having dreams about being raped ever since. My psyche does not like anyone touching my body. Had blood work done a couple of months ago at the health fair. Doctor reviewed it at this latest appointment. Blood work shows me as anemic. I don't think I am now. I think I was low on red blood cells because I had just donated a couple of days previous. I told doc this and suggested I get a blood panel now to check. But no, he is convinced I have gastrointestinal bleeding and need a colonoscopy. Give me strength. Yes I probably do need as colonoscopy as I am over fifty and have never had one. (Two saddled horses just strolled by reigns dragging on the ground. No, make that three. No riders in sight. Neighbor girl must be training them for the fair.) After much soul searching, I think I will go ahead with the procedure. But not because I think I have GI bleeding. I will do it because it is another opportunity to take care of myself. I hate going to the doctor. I went in for an annual physical and to get my prescriptions renewed and came out with bowel cancer. Oh yes, mamo went fine...no doctors involved. Phooey. (Okay here comes Rae with the horses. She must have been making them walk around the block.)

Sorry to all that I have not been reading. I miss you. Mark uses this desktop computer in the evening and I have been working like a dog during the days. So no computing. Next month is computer month for me!!! I have info about laptops coming out my ears and am way confused. Do I need a web cam and audio? Do I need a 15 or 17 inch screen? Do I need to burn CD's and DVD's ? How many USB ports do I need? What software do you all have that you couldn't live without? Do I need the pad that goes under the laptop to keep it cool? Do I need a mini mouse? What gadgets do you have on your computers that you couldn't live without? Thank you for your help.

Say a prayer for me about the colonoscopy. I am scared sick.

Enjoy the sunshine. I am. Love and kisses. Bea

11 comments:

Helen said...

Don't worry about the colonoscopy (says the girl who never had one)...it's a GOOD thing to take care of YOU!

I leave computer stuff to DB so can't be of any help to you there. But I would vote for some kind of ability to share photos...I'd love to see your beautiful part of the world! :-)

Vickie said...

the only software that we care about is the standard stuff - (word, exel, etc)

things like the software for the ipod and cameras and printer - did not come with the computer - they were downloaded based on what equipment we have.

keeping laptop cool is important - can't put them on a bed for example. But we just use lap board (for writing) that we already had.

we do not burn CD's on laptops because we do that on house computer - and I personally never burn anything - because I have a Ipod and just download there - but my husband burns music CD's to listen to in the car.

We do not do webcam stuff.

wireless mouse is GREAT!

USB - minimum of TWO (need one for wireless mouse that stays plugged in all the time) and then one that you plug and unplug printer and ipod and digital camera for example - things that you only plug in when you are using them.

Being able to watch DVD's and links (like Utube) on laptop is nice.

if you are watching movies and playing games (and have eye sight trouble) - then BIG screen. If you want to carry it around in your purse - little screen.

Vickie said...

I personally would leave my lap top at home - always - so would get a BIG screen - so that I could see it easily (in a chair, in bed, at a table).

Vickie said...

ask everyone that you see what size they have - then have them pull up something to read and a utube thing and then see how little/big the images are. You can adjust text - but movies/games are based on the size of the screen.

Vickie said...

you have wireless I assume? If you do not - need another USB to hook up to your internet - so that would be 3 minimum.

denise said...

I 2nd Helen's "don't worry about the colonoscopy" - it's a breeze (and I have had one). Have to admit the prep for it is less than pleasant - don't make plans to be out of the house the day before.

Getting test is a good idea - if you get the all clear you won't need another one for 10 years, so it's nice to mark it off the list.

On the other hand, I can't believe your doc wouldn't retest you for anemia just to put your mind at ease. Doctors...what a pain.

Annimal said...

Your hematacrit had to be normal in order to donate blood--that is always checked to make sure you are safe to donate. So, your anemia was from the recent blood-letting.
Colonoscopy--piece 'o cake. I was quite apprehensive as well. Let me tell you, my next one I won't even give a second thought. I had eaten very light, mostly vegatarian/cereal the day before the prep so the laxitives wouldn't have much to expell. Then I drank apple juice or jello every two hours to keep my blood sugars steady up until I needed to be fasting. The procedure itself was over in a flash, the staff very professional. I was out thru the whole thing, never once had a moment of discomfort. Thank God for versed (consious sedation).
I understand your dislike of doctors. I feel the same way and have always put off non-emergent "quality of life" issues just because I didn't want another doc to just blame my issues on obesity (no shit sherlock).
So, I put up with a large hideous purple lump on my lip for TEN YEARS before finally seeing a dermatologist. It took a 15 min surgical procedure (in the office) to cut out the lump and when the stitches healed I once again have a beautiful smile.
I put up with a painful knee for 3 years before finally asking a dr for a steroid shot--now am 90 pain free and life again is good.
Sure there are some quacks and judgemental docs out there as with the rest of life, but keep looking and you'll also find the compassionate ones who are willing to listen.
I don't have your experience of being raped and can't imagine what the lifelong consequences of that must be. I do believe you when you say you've been dreaming of being raped and you have my warmest love being sent. Whatever you need to get through this, I hope you find.
Health is the greatest gift we have, and it needs to be maintained. To neglect our health is the head-in-the-sand approach and very risky (stupid) business.

Anonymous said...

Colonoscopies are scary to think about but they give you lots of happy drugs so you are not in pain and it's over quickly. I've had five of them and need to schedule another routine test. Not happy about doing it but then feel virtuous and proud of taking care of myself. We're all behind you!

Vickie said...

ditto what annimal said - it was perfect!

Cindy said...

I get a colonoscopy soon, I think in late August. Made the appointment on a Monday morning so I can drink the stuff on Sunday and fast or whatever I gotta do. Just because I am fifty and just because I still have health insurance. I don't want to, either. Not my thing. I remember buying my laptop, it was almost as stressful as buying a car or a house. But I learned some stuff. Not I have to get it fixed because my wireless card acts like its not there...hmmm. glad you posted. I miss bloggin, too!!!

Lori G. said...

There's not much more I can add to everyone's else comments except that I agree with them: take care of yourself. Ooh, it just dawned on me -- I'll have to have one of these too now for my baseline. But it's a necessary evil and thankfully every five years, right? :-)