Thursday, November 5, 2009

10 Lives

Rocket Socks is still hanging in there. She is thin and doesn't eat/drink or eliminate much but is up and around and annoying the heck out of the dog. I am giving her subcutaneous IV fluids as needed. The antibiotics are finished and we are both relieved. She goes outside and stalks around the yard like her old self for a few minutes, then is pooped and comes in and sleeps. She seems happy enough. I guess I will know when the time is right to let her go.

Life here is returning to normal after the hubbub of the summer. I am glad. We bought a snow blower so I won't have to kill myself shoveling this winter. I washed the windows and we put up the storms. We have been having some nice days so I washed all the blankets and rugs and dried them on the line. I am back to teaching adult Sunday school, and choir practise starts tonight. I am thinking about volunteering at the Senior Center one day a week delivering meal-on-wheels. I went for a ride along yesterday. Threw me into an unexpected emotional tailspin. Too much like nursing I suspect. I am not sure I want to start driving around in blizzards and fending off dogs again to visit people in their homes. But I have to do something. I am seldom out of my comfort zone anymore. I do not think that to be a healthy situation. (The neighbor's four ducks just strolled by, Huey, Duey, Louey and Donald. Three black and one white. They walk upright like penguins, chatting up a storm the whole time.) I love being at home but I am losing touch with the wide world. It worries me.

I was counting on the new computer to pull me out of my backwater and into the river of life. No money for computer. Snow blower and vet bills took our stash. Phooey. Mark has screwed this old computer up so much I now can't get to one of my email accounts. He broke another printer so I can't print off anything, and the mouse pad has gone missing. I am currently using a piece of cardboard for a mouse pad. Like Virginia Woolf, I HAVE GOT TO HAVE A COMPUTER OF MY OWN.

Okay rant finished. About the comfort zone thing. What do you think, is being content at home worth the trade off of letting "life" pass me by?

I want to stay at home and be a sheltered housewife and write. I love being able to see the ducks walk by and hear the pigs snore. I love the silence of the house. I love hanging clothes on the line and seeing the mountains. I love doing the dishes and gazing down the valley through my kitchen window. I love being at home with this silly dog. I love not being responsible for anyone but myself and my immediate family. I do not love not having current marketable skills and being out of touch with the times. I still write letters and send them snail mail for God's sake. I do not love not contributing anything to anyone. Phooey. I fear I am becoming an anachronism.

Okay whine over. Take Care. Love Bea


Cindy...154 said...

Being at home with the silly dog, listening to the pigs snore, watching the ducks (and sometimes Horses) stroll by, gazing down the valley doing dishes IS LIFE. It is not passing you by. It is there, every delicious moment of it. I think being a sheltered housewife sounds marvelous. Does mark have a friend or a brother?? Enjoy your life! It sounds wonderful and I am envious. Glad to hear Socks is still there and doing okay. It is good to hear from you..

Annimal said...

I'm in your position now as (thankfully) I was laid off 2 weeks ago.
I knew I needed some time off, come hell or high-water, but unexpectedly, due to the economy and unstable health insurance debate, my boss didn't get any study offers, so my job is done.
I am so grateful.
I love preparing meals, making new dishes from recipes, letting the chickens out to play and gathering the eggs. I like checking the mail, walking my dog and watching "the price is right". (tee-hee)
I go to town twice a week and work out at my gym, taking my time and not rushing through it in order to get to work on time.
In short, I am in heaven and would LOVE to be able to stay here.
Am I worried about the world "going by?" Hell no. My world is right here surrounding me. My youngest is a Junior so we only have 2 years until we are empty-nesters. I want to be here to share these last 2 years.
I know I'll have to return to some kind of work in the future as we have 3 more years of college to pay for. We've promised each child we'll front their first 2 years. So, we are 1/2 way thru.
I know I am going to take my time looking for a new job and I am going to be choosy. I'm hoping it's not in nursing.
My last boss turned really ugly and shocked me with his demeaning/degrading behaviour. I guess I need to thank him for showing me for the snake he is--he assumes I will return to work for him and continue to make him huge amounts of money. Hmmm. Let's see--he didn't want to pay my vacation, dropped my wages, ordered me to do work outside of my job description, chewed me out left and right. I was a nervous wreck before I left never knowing when he was going to blow....
At any rate, sorry about the rant, but I want you to think about what exactly you think it is you are missing?