Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Long Time No Write

Almost a month has passed since my last post. Much has happened.

Mark's job is in jeopardy. This came as a bolt out of the blue. We will know by March 16 if we will be job hunting. If the job goes we will have to move. I have been reading a resume book and trying to piece together some kind of marketable skill. Turns out being a housewife for the past ten years was not a career boost. I am not hopeful about selling our house. Nothing is moving here house wise. Maybe we can rent it.

Our church seems to be imploding. This is not as much of a surprise as the job thing but it is just as painful.

On the fat front things are stable. I stopped attending the group. Turned out to be way too winter for a weekly eighty mile drive in the dark. I talked to the leader about the distance. She says there may be another group starting thirty miles closer to us in the near future. I have my fingers crossed. I have lost five pounds and my craving/bingeing is quiet at present. This is a blessing.

I think my life as a blogger is drawing to a close. I hate what I write on here. I started this blog with the hope of becoming a great writer. What I whinge on about now is not worth reading. I also started writing to chronicle my weight loss journey. journey has stopped and I have settled down on Fat Lane. I may well weigh 198 lbs until I die.

I had hoped to be a funny uplifting example of weight loss stick-to-it-iveness and Christian charity. Ha. I am fifty pounds lighter and I have (almost) quit swearing. Hardly Mother Theresa. I have gained twenty pounds back and this constant griping does not reflect Faith in God. Phooey. Reading my blog requires antidepressants. This is not what I want.

For the few of you still reading and commenting. Thank You. I will be posting until March 16th.

Love Bea


Annimal said...

Please reconsider not blogging! I feel I've found a new friend and I enjoy keeping up with you and your trials & triumphs. Esp during this very trying time--you need your friends and we want to be here to support you.
As far as posting uplifting, cheerio crap? It would be most UN-Christian to paint a rose-colored glasses point of view. One of the things that attracts me to you is your naked honesty with the trials in your life (and head). You have helped me face very similar feelings in my own life, have put words to anxieties and issues I share.
I discovered how very easy it is to lie to myself day-by-day and keep stuffing the feelings with food and then blame it all on the "unfairness" of fat genes.
When we all share the "closed door" moments of our life, we all benefit because it's so easy to get caught up in the pity party of "why me?" When I hear what others are going through, I realize that we ALL have crosses to bear, and by reaching out to people who care (even just putting it in blog land) we CAN get through this.
Bea, I care for you and Mark, will hold you in my prayers.

Helen said...

I hope you don't disappear! Struggles seem easier when we blog about them, no? Lots of us use our blogs to "whine" least a little bit! Why not?

Sorry to hear about Mark's job...will cross fingers that all will be ok...and it WILL.


Holly said...

I would be so sorry if you stopped posting. I look forward to each new entry! I've perhaps not commented before, but know you have readers like me (likely galore) who find something of inspiration in sharing "The Struggle"

Sorry you are having job woes too.

Anonymous said...

A big "ditto" on what the others have said. I enjoy your honesty on your blog. It's nice to know that everything isn't always fabulous for others while I struggle away. I hope that you will keep posting. You'll be the second blog in a month to shut down that I read daily. Am I a bad omen? Yikes!


Anonymous said...

Woah now Bea this is not really you talking here! Where is that beautiful flower that opened on the massage table? Look inside it is still there remember to spin it perk up that energy resouior! as for your career (I know you hate that "N" word) but the public health nurse just left. There might be something there. I'll keep my ears open:)I Know the weight loss thing is huge for you but don't let it get you down you have done it before and will do it again. Take it one day at a time and if you fall off the wagon like I have this past week (nothing but BBQ chips and pine nuts!)put it behind you and start over. I am marking the end of this week to be done with the chips!!Things seem really bad for most of us right now but if we all hang in there together we will make it! On my bad days I look at Hati or Chilie and thank God I'm here! My home is safe, I have food and water and many days of the week now the SUN is shining What a blessing!! Call me if you need me!! I always look forward to our visits!

Anonymous said...

Hey now Bea this is really not you talking here. You have been taken away by the gloom critter! Remember the beautiful flower that opened on the massage table. spin that flower putting energy into your resovior filling it up. You do such wonderful energy work you just forget to look that way! Times are hard Bea but we will make it! Espically you, you have surivied through the worst possible time of your life already. The weight thing you will make it just go one day at a time. If you fall of the wagon like I have all week (BBQ chips and pne nuts!) Set your day to get back on and go for it again. My last day for Chips is Sat!! No more after that. Back to the good food berries, veg's and fish. As for your career I know you hate that "N" word but the public health nurse has left maybe there would be an opening there. I think she was part time. Try not to worry to much in the large scope of things we really have it pretty good. We still have a roof or our heads, food and water and the most inportant part EACH OTHER! Why don't you get outa the house come up and visit you know we always have fun :)

Cindy said...

who wants to read "perfect" entries and "perfect" weight loss success stories. We want to hear the real thing. because we're all dealing with the real thing.

Cindy...154 said...

I really hope you post again or keep in touch with me on my blog. I am rather attached to you just so you know and will miss you very much. I can't go cold turkey, so reconsider!! Thanks for all your posts. I love your writing style, your wit, and your honesty. You have helped me so much over the years. It will be four years of blogging I think --wow

mumtotwo said...

ok...NO WAY!!!!! you are not allowed to stop blogging. we LOVE you. feel the love girl. it is hard to come by in this world and you want to give it up???

NO WAY!!!!


Head full of stuff said...

I have just come across your blog today and wanted to say that it's always worth writing. Humour helps me too and I suppose part of blogging is writing about the things that one might think are mundane, but that are actually very interesting when someone thousands of miles away reads them! Keep on blogging Bea!

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Anonymous said...

It's a stressful time for you on several fronts at once, and that makes it even harder to deal with them. Blogging may help you sort things out - and none of us comes expecting to be cheered up. You are our friend and we want to know what's up so we can support you as you journey. Please reconsider not blogging :)

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