Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Good gravy what a month I had and am having.

I deep cleaned every square inch of my house and yard in preparation for guests. Then had two sets of guests. I have been to every fair and social gathering out there, and still have more to attend. I have purchased and cooked and eaten until I never want to see food again. (Alas, if only it were so.) I have shopped until I dropped and driven hundreds of miles to do so. I have spent money like it grew on trees. I have done so much laundry my washer is on permanent speed dial. I am having a good time but I am pooped.

I haven't had many insights lately because you have to be present to yourself for info to seep into the soul. I have been on autopilot. Cheerful autopilot, but still oblivious to almost everything but the next needful task. On one of these marathon shopping expeditions I did buy a book that is bringing me up short. "How To Refuse To Make Yourself Miserable About Absolutely Anything," has some uniquely useful thoughts. I know I have "minimal impulse control" but I did not know I also had "low frustration tolerance." These two conditions together are lethal for an addictive personality, or else they are the components of an addictive personality. I haven't got far enough into the book to know yet. I thought I had a high anxiety tolerance. Turns out being able to function effectively while anxious and under pressure is NOT low frustration tolerance. In fact tolerating this much misery for extended periods of time makes the condition worse!!! Low frustration tolerance is the inability to self soothe, I think. I have to read more about it to make sure. The condition is exquisitely painful and will be avoided at all costs. Addicts use their substance of choice to numb the pain of the anxiety. I'll bet this is another one of those things like impulse control that is normally taught in childhood. Bugger.... But I guess if Moll Dog's can learn impulse control, so can I.

I am going to do some research about this low anxiety tolerance thing. If any of you know about it please let me know.

Take care of yourselves and think of me as I smile sweetly at about a thousand more parties.

Love Bea


Vickie said...

very interesting reading. keep posting as you mull over the book!

I still get a lot of insight from watching the dog training. . .

Annimal said...

I know I've improved on my impulse control (more with shopping-less with eating), but I think my frustration tolerance is getting lower and lower.
Please continue with your insight as you read and let me know the name of the book.
Sometimes it's the small insights that help the most.
I think your month sounds like good living. Good for you.

Cindy...154 said...

I like the title of the book. I recently told my boss in a conversation that I refuse to be miserable. She was telling me she was impressed with my cheerful attitude and that was my only explanation given the circumstances. Interesting subject, can't wait to hear more.

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