Thursday, August 27, 2009

Fake Dieter

I am a mess right now so hold onto your socks.

My heart is cracking. Our current church, Lutheran, just chose to ordain gay clergy. Our former church, Episcopalian, chose to ordain gay clergy. We left the Episcopal church because we do not believe in gay CLERGY. Yes I think homosexual behavior is a sin. I also believe gluttony is a sin. I go to church every Sunday. Church is the place you take your sin because you cannot cope with it on your own. It broke my heart to leave the Episcopal church and our church family. I may soon need to survive another broken heart, don't know yet. Pray for me and Husband.

I was going to write a funny about Mark and turkey. Maybe I still will. I am ambling my way back toward my food plan. Part of the plan is four ounces of protein at each meal. No problem with lunch and supper, but I get awful sick of eggs for breakfast. So I have been making lean hamburger patties, salmon, little pork chops and...turkey burgers. I have tried every turkey burger on the market as well as making my own. All of them taste from bad to worse, and smell h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e. So this morning I had a new brand of burger and decided to prekill the taste with a nice blend of herbs. I liberally sprinkled the herbs on the patties and flopped them on the grill. Within three minutes Mark came streaking into the kitchen from the shower. "No more damn turkey before 11:30 a.m.," he bellowed. "I don't want turkey burgers, or turkey breasts, or turkey meatballs, or turkey giblets or turkey legs for breakfast. What do you have against pigs? Why can't we just have bacon and ham and sausage like normal people?" Why indeed?

I started this blog a couple of years ago when I was losing weight. In the past three years I have quit losing and have regained fifteen pounds. Should I still pretend to be blogging about weight loss? I weigh 195 and seem to be mentally, emotionally and physically stuck there. I read the Fat Crack book, and sighed. I don't want to work that hard at my food. I read all of your success stories and feel like a fake dieter and a big ole failure. I am thinking of quitting the blog because I have nothing to add to the weight loss conversation. Does is matter if I quit writing about losing weight?

What do you all eat protein wise for breakfast? No chicken or soy protein (veggie burger) suggestions. They were sampled and vetoed along with the tuna patties.

Take care. Love Bea


Vickie said...

can't help you with the protein - I am very happy with my egg beaters every morning - ditto with my oatmeal. There is a serving of protein in oatmeal. I suppose you can google vegetarian protein ideas or just stick with lean pork/beef options. I ate lean beef/pork until a year ago. So in my losing years - it WAS lean beef/pork. I just watched the quantity.

I suppose you have to 'sit with' WHY you are feeling like a 'fake' and why this matters to you. And I suppose why you feel that a 'dieter' is what you should feel/be doing. (I hate that word and SO do not feel like a 'dieter'.)

You are usually NOT happy with any food plan for very long. I think that you work on things for a bit and then say you are bored with the food and move on. I am not sure what this means. I am just saying that it appears to be normal for you (from what you write) to need to have a wide variety or change things up regularly. Maybe you just like to have a lot going on – change is hard for me – I LIKE same old same old. So I am just not going to be any help.

the last two 'boys' that have entered the road to the priesthood here - have been two boys that I have thought were gay since they were small children. And I personally have no problem with gay and priests - because in catholic land this (should) mean that they are not practicing 'gayness' they are celibate. And it has occurred to me more than once that it might have been easier for them to become priests than to 'come out'.

mumtotwo said...

hi bea...please don't quit. who cares what you blog is about..? whatever you want it to be.
i eat tuna fish or plain broiled chicken or a hard boiled egg...first thing before any other food, everyday. it just starts me off right. besides, i finally realized that every meal doesn't have to taste fabulous, or even be good. i just eat it and then go on my way. a means to an end. oh, and walk...a lot. outside where God's nature is. i am lutheran too. some things i just don't think about too much. i pray to God and it is very private. i let him sort out all of the stuff of men.
you are so interesting. thanks for sharing. robin

Anonymous said...

My favorite breakfast protein is Greek yogurt, but any yogurt is good. Can't stand cottage cheese and the idea of it for breakfast just hurts my tummy thinking of it. I could see myself eating a burger at breakfast - but it's not likely to happen.

This is your blog and you can write about anything you'd like. For me, writing about a variety of things helped me stay balanced and aware that food plans and diets were not the only things in my life. I love to read what you write and your perspective on the world, and hope you will continue writing about just life.

Annimal said...

I have Kashi GoLean cereal every morning at work, then a handful of almonds/walnuts or a protein drink around 10:00. Keeps me satisfied until lunch.
Have you tried tofu or beans? I like hummus and crackers. Very filling.
Maybe it's a matter of redefining "breakfast" foods.
It's funny, I never have read your blog as a "weight loss" blog. (sorry if that is offensive)
I've always just loved your insight into personal pain/struggles that so often mirror my own. Any addiction is usually the result of personal pain and poor coping skills.
I wonder if you looked at your blog as a venue for healthy living instead of just weight loss?
to the issue of clergy--I myself, applaud the churches for taking a stance of letting people be who they are, without the hypocrisy of the Catholic church who KNEW for decades that they were housing pedophiles and simply moved them from parish to parish instead of doing something about their deviant behavior. Or how about the Service's "don't ask, don't tell"
good grief.
I believe we are ALL sinners and no one sin is worse than another. How many ministers standing in the Nave every sunday beat their wives? How many are alcoholics or cheat on their wives?
To me, being gay is not an issue. I was made to be fat--something most in society have felt gives them the right to shun me or disregard my importance.
In other words, judge me as less than.
whoa--jumping off soap box now...
what ever you decide for your blog-just keep posting. I enjoy your insights.

MsTrixx said...

Dear Bea - I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now. Your honest discussions and wry commentary about weight, doing too much, isolation, emotions etc. have been interesting and poignant to read. You have a gift for writing and as this is your blog - you should feel free to author on whatever subject you wish. However, I was shocked by your last entry and how narrow minded and bigoted you appear. Sadly, I will no longer be a reader as I was disappointed to read your very intolerant comments about gay clergy and homosexuality. You've just negated my whole life and that of many many other fine, loving, generous, tax paying, respectful, supportive, kind, funny, literate and wonderful people with your insensitive attitudes. You've written extensively about your low frustration tolerance - but maybe what you really have is low tolerance for anyone different than you. That makes me sad for you because if you can't accept others - you will never be able to accept yourself - and that likley means peace and happiness will elude you. Bea you are entitled to attend whatever church you wish, to beleive and write about whatever you want - but I don't need to read it. You're off my bloggers reading list as off now. Good luck with the rest of your life.

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog (and really enjoying it) since December of 06. But like Ms Trixx I must say goodbye after reading your last entry. Funny how your narrow minded views never surfaced before.

Anonymous said...

I find it amazing that when others differ from ones point of view, they love to call it narrow mindedness. Give me a break! This is America and you're allowed to feel how you want to feel. Plus, if you are a Christian, you know that homosexuality is a sin. I agree that it is a sin just as any other, but I don't think that someone who continues to practice the same sin should be in the pulpit. It's God's job to judge, but I'm with you....I don't agree with gay clergy. You are not narrow minded. You believe the word of God!

Vickie said...

I mentioned that I have never given a thought to the gay priests - because they are celibate - so to me there is NO difference between gay and straight priests.

But I should have added - I have NEVER had a problem with gay ministers in non-catholic churches.

It seems an automatic to me because I think they tend to be very caring/devote people.

And as other people have mentioned - I DO have a problem with the cheaters, beaters, etc that are ministers and hide behind the cloth. I struggle with that concept - because I think there are a lot of people who gravitate toward positions of power in a disordered way. (I do not consider gay to be disordered - but do consider the cheaters and beaters and (of course) pedophiles to be extremely disordered)

A Canadian Reader said...

I haven't visited your blog in a while and I have to admit, I too am appalled and saddened by your views.

I am not gay, but I am firmly convinced that one is born gay. It is not a choice, it is not a sin.

Get off your duff--not to exercise or lose that stupid weight that oppresses you so--and go into town. You've complained so often about being snowed in, being depressed, being angry at yourself. So get off your duff and go and volunteer with gay teens whose suicide rate is so much higher than that of teens in general because of narrow-minded church ladies such as yourself. Get out and go work with people who are suffering because of your ignorance. Once you've done that, you might get a whole new point of view on those sinners.

I started off writing this response thinking that you are basically a nice, though misguided woman. Now I am hopping mad.