I am rigid, rigid, rigid.
I have been thinking about many things in the past week. For starters, I have become a web whiner. I get on here and gripe and moan. Is not making me feel good. Is making me feel bad. I have become so focused on what I perceive to be be wrong with my life I have lost sight of what is right. And much, much is right. For instance.
Last night I watched episode four of "I Can Make You Thin." Mark was downstairs so he watched with me. He had never before seen Paul McKenna. This week's show was another take on the finger squeeze association thing. We were to do the finger squeeze thing while associating something wonderful with exercise. Paul is very expressive and has that aggressive motivational style of speaking. He was about half way through with his explanation/demonstration of the technique when suddenly Mark jumped up from this chair, squeezed the thumb and middle finger of his right hand together, pointed them at me, and hollered "Expecto Patronum." Harry Potter beware.
After I became less hysterical we watched the rest of the show. When it was over I asked Mark what he thought. "What, no altar call" was all he said? sigh
I read or hear or see something that makes sense to me about weight loss and then I think I have to slavishly follow the whole of whatever plan has enlightened me. I currently have been caught between my no sugar, no flour addict food plan and the non-plan of Intuitive Eating. In my rigid black and white mind they could not both be correct. One or the other had to be the WAY. Vickie opened the door a crack with her comment about rigidity and then Mark's funny antics shoved it completely open. It was not a specific plan or formula that enabled me to lose the weight, it was that I ate less. Yes the nutritional content of food does matter. Yes non-processed foods do have less calories. Yes I did feel better when I was eating "clean." But I had made a religion out of it. I had come to believe the only way I could lose/maintain the weight was with a specific combination of foods. If I deviated at all I was in relapse and destined to gain back all the weight. I now see that feta cheese on my salad can be part of a healthy diet and does not have to derail my weight loss effort.
I can learn to bend. It is really the only Way.
Take care of yourselves. Love Bea
Markovian theory: The next exercise craze to sweep the country will be sponsored by the National Social Health Movement. It will entail a synchronized high kicking hike followed by a series of straight arm exercises accompanied by the motivational shout "I'm Thinner."