Thursday, May 28, 2009

Fantods

As in, I have the fantods. I am anxious and jumpy and irritable. This trip to California is making me nuts. I knew Mark relied on me to make life function but until this trip I did not realize how much. Neither did he. We knew months ago about the trip. I occasionally asked about the arrangements and he assured me all was being taken care of. As we did not have ticket confirmation, room reservations or registration info for the conference I was dubious, and said so. He said I was a control freak and could not relax and let someone else take charge. This is a too true observation so I attempted to forget about it. Yet still something niggled at me.

I do not want to take this trip. I don't want to spend the money and I am fat. I will be fat and broke in the vacation paradise of the tanned and thin. I do not have any summer clothes that fit and I don't want to spend money on more. The clothes I do have are just dumb. Stacy and Clinton would have a hay day with me. Peg legged elastic waist jeans and plaid camp shirts. And big ole sneakers. And a sweater jacket with lawn chairs printed all over it. (I look like some one's grandmother.) And I have to stuff all of this in a suitcase the size of a breadbox. So I am anxious. On Tuesday to calm myself down I began inquiring in earnest about "the plans." You guessed it. Mark had relied on someone else to make all the arrangements. And she didn't. He was not registered for the conference, had no room reservations and no plane tickets.

After many panicked preparations and much money agony we now have very expensive plane seats...in which we cannot even sit together. He is in the front and I am in the back in the middle. As I haven't flown in 17 years and am worried about all the changes, not the least of which is the seat belt fitting, this just pisses me off royal. Instead of flying out of Jackson (close) we have to drive all the way to Salt Lake (far) and stay all night (expensive). Of course the Marriott and Hilton where the conference is being held are full so we are staying three "city blocks" away in some hotel I have never heard of. I has been years but as I remember "city blocks" are much larger than our small town blocks. Mark will have to leave well before 8am and won't arrive back at the hotel until after 5pm, leaving me marooned in there for eight solid hours. We can't even eat together at noon because all the seminars he was planning to attend are jam packed. The only open ones are during the lunch hours. I was going on this trip so we could spend some time together. The conference was presented to me as having a lot of open spaces in which we could sight see. Not. He might as well be at work. I am so mad I could spit. I am not a sit around the pool kind of a gal, if this new place even has a pool. I DO NOT want to spend eight hours in a high rise hotel room with no egress to the outside. I do not have the money to go shopping, or get spa treatments, or do much sight seeing. What the heck am I going to do for five days?

By the by, I can't stop eating. I was down to 193 then came the news about the non-registration and I promptly went back up to 199. I do mean promptly. I have gained five pounds in the past three days. sigh

Why don't I just stay home you ask? Let Mark stew alone in his self induced mess? Because he wants me to go. Really wants me to go. He says he will eat beans when we get home and will wear ragged clothes and ride his bike to work. But please won't I go. It's no fun without me. PHOOEY.

Helen prepare yourself, I'm coming. I will be the nervous plaid grandmother who looks madder than a wet hen. Phooey.

Bea

9 comments:

Helen said...

What are the dates? Please check on Facebook for my e-mail address and send me an email with details!! I will take you shopping for cheap LA clothes... ;-)

Annimal said...

I usually find that the more I am dreading a trip and throw fits about it, the more I surprise myself by ending up enjoying it.
I think our Angels get a kick out of showing us up!
Can't wait to hear of your adventures. At least you'll be doing a lot of walking! That should sweat off those 5 pounds.
Plus, Californians all fit and tan? Not that I've ever noticed. They all fat/pale like the rest of us.

altopower said...

I was just in Anaheim for a conference myself, feeling fat and out of sorts - only to discover that there were plenty of people who looked just like me.

As for the seatbelt - you can quietly tell a flight attendant as you get on the plane that you need a seatbelt extension at Seat X. They'll bring it to you at your seat, without making a big fuss about it. You'll feel more comfortable not being sliced in two by a tight belt.

Wish our trips had coincided, it would have been fun to meet you and fill the time together.

LG said...

Anne's right about how to approach the belt issue (as well as everything else). I had to stay at a hotel in Atlanta all by my lonesome (and the many fat cells). I got mad, sad, and everything else for a day.

Then I just said, "Screw it. No one knows me in this town and so what!" I ended up going to a lot of places during the day by myself, reading while eating lunches, and I even took MARTA and transferred twice on their bus system to get out to burbs to a museum.

Take that anger and say screw it and have some fun on your own. It stinks that someone dropped the ball on making reservations. I think everyone's right and you'll be surprised. But don't stay mad the whole time you're out there -- you'll miss something good.

Vickie said...

good heavens!!!

the walking kind of sight seeing is free. the gym at the hotel (if there is one) will be free.

They might even give you access to something else (like a pool at another hotel if they don't have one) if you ask.

And I bet you can find 'the most for your $$$' things to take up a lot of your day - museums come to mind.

Did you look through your whole closet? - I am thinking of dresses and skirts that maybe you don't normally wear - ? Do you have anyone to borrow from? I assume that you do not have a good goodwill or other thrift store right by you - but is there another one within driving distance? It sounds like with a couple pairs of pants and one universal kind of jacket/sweater that goes with everything - you would feel a lot better.

Vickie said...

and - no matter what he says or wants - either go and have a very good time (lemonade) or don't go.

Cindy...154 said...

How about sleeping all day in the hotel room? that's a fantasy for me right now. when I read this I thought, lucky her, he's gone all day and she can sleep! but thats just me and my current quest for sleep. Trips used to stress me out big time if they involved flying. Not so much now but they used to. Maybe you can lay in bed (or is it lie - no I lie in bed, but that's another story) and read. Notice all my suggestions will involve bed. And laying (or perhaps lying..)

Cindy...154 said...

If you sleep all day you won't need clothes...just saying.

Resolute said...

I'm the same. Once I have made up my mind I don't want to go I DO NOT WANT TO GO. So why not stay at home? At least you will have Mollie and you can get some badly needed space around you for getting on track with a programme so you can get back to the bottom of the nineties again. Bea time.

I'm a great believer in signs. The fact that the bookings were not made was the first sign. Then the plane seat scenario. But most of all the burning desire not to go. That should do it for me.