Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Back To Basics

A "narrow minded" homophobe. Sigh. Once more into the breech.

I have been writing about myself for three years. I thought most of my basic beliefs had come out by now. Apparently not.

I believe in God and I believe Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God and I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe in sin and I believe we can choose "outer darkness" if we do not repent of our sins. I believe sin is what is described in the Bible as "sin." I also believe sin is anything that separates a person from God. I have made food sin because I think about it way more than I do God. I sometimes waste my prayer time thinking about the width of my thighs instead of the depth and breadth of God's love for me. I have made food a false idol in place of God. I have sinned sexually (Bible definition), and I am a terrible gossip (Bible definition). I sin a lot, and I repent a lot, and I am forgiven a lot. I am grateful.

Okay, I was going to give up writing about food, but...I have been given a valuable insight about me and my eating. I get joy from eating. Not just happiness at having my hunger/anxiety relieved, but joy. No big surprise right? Well it was to me. Joy and food do not belong together. Joy belongs to the divine not the mundane. My dog's smile, my lover's touch, an insight during a quiet bird filled morn, these things bring me joy, not cheesecake. I am trying to get food to bring me closer to God. It ain'ta gonna happen. Food is just fuel.

"Yes" to whoever said it was okay for food to be boring. In fact for me it needs to be boring. Too much choice sets my senses a whirl and I want more, more, infinitum. Same old, same old is my answer. I am grateful.

Tres interesting times at church as we all attempt to come to terms with ELCA's recent decision. The division is about half and half. Painful when a family of beloveds prays and comes up with exact opposite answers. We are struggling forward together at this point. I pray it will always be so. Amen.

Take care. Love Bea


Annimal said...

Hmm. I have to disagree. I think food SHOULD be a source of joy. God wants us to enjoy life in abundance (not greed or gluttony) and to appreciate and be grateful for and share the good things he has created just for us.
Food is a necessity. To deny ourselves the joy of sublime flavors, perfectly prepared entrees, and marinated side dishes is NOT the way to thank God for this life.
Denying our bodies doesn't lead to weight loss or health.
I know when I prepare a tasty, healthy meal, I eat less, enjoy it more and my cravings are satisfied.

mumtotwo said...

i think it is great to be joyful about food sometimes...just not all the time. that all the time stuff gets me in trouble. i mean even water is perfect sometimes for thirst...altho obviously a coke with crushed ice would be more joyful. it helps me to just think of food sometimes as fuel. only fuel. get it in and move on. it is all so tricky.

Cindy...154 said...

I think if I can find some joy in anything I am going to be grateful for it so long as it is not hurting anybody, including me. the God of my understanding wants us to be joyful. I am glad you continue to blog. I think we started our blogs about the weight loss and food struggles but we ended up with much more. So keep on expressing yourself. I think your church will either grow or divide from this experience. The greatest commandment is to love one another, if I recall, so it's easy to love when we all agree but loving in adversity is the real deal.

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