Wednesday, September 19, 2007


"Shock and exhaustion" is what Cindy said. Yep. And fear. How am I ever going to get all this done? And how will I pay for it? I have been praying for strength and more money and help. Maybe I should be praying for peace. I can not even describe how tired I am.

"Shock" what a great word. That is what is basically the matter with me. I love my "routes" and nothing is normal. I am in shock. Like a bomb exploded in my living room. I feel like I have been attacked. (I know this is over reaction and I am not dying.) Mark keeps telling me not to worry and then blithely goes off to work. I resent this mightily. I not only bought the house and made all the arrangements for remodeling supplies, I am also working like a hired man in the remodeling process. I also have to keep the current house running, i.e. food, laundry, bills. I knew Mark could not take time off from work when we started this process, but I am feeling very abandoned none the less. Night sweats are killing me. I sleep maybe four hours a night. I painted for nine hours yesterday, on four hours sleep. I can barely type.

My only reward for all this work and stress is food. I know there are more rewards out there but when I get tired I can't think of any. I tried for a hot bath last night but the water heater had quit again. Had to push the reset button and wait an hour for a tepid shower. I ate an entire jar of raspberry jam in the interim. I want sugar and salt. We eat a good breakfast and it is down hill from there. Lunch is on the run and supper is at 8-9pm and is fast food. What I really want is order. None to be had for the next couple of months. I can't even do the laundry as the blankety blank power in the laundry room has quit again. I will be glad to get out of this rented house and into my own snug little home. Please God don't let me eat a house before I can change houses.

If any of you know how to reward yourselves with out using food or money or big chunks of time let me know.

Take care of yourselves. Love Bea


Ann SE Washington State said...

Yes, I know you are very busy with the new house. And more reading may not be what you want to do right now. However, routines in both places would be very helpful and give you peace.

It will all get done, not in one day, but little by little. Sometimes in big chunks.

Do you have a crock pot/slow cooker? Cook dinner while you work. Have your husband meet you at the new house to enjoy dinner.

Take your lunch with you and actually sit down, with your feet up and really enjoy what you are eating. Turn off your head from everything you see to do, and read a page turning novel for a few minutes.

Take breaks as you work. A periodically rested body works much more efficiently.

Have the radio/cd on to your favorite music while you work.

The reward of each day is knowing you've made progress. Pat yourself on the back. Your arm won't break. Ha!

Refocus your thoughts on what you've accomplished and NOT on what is yet to be done.

Anonymous said...

My reward is music/movie DVDs. I call it Cinematherapy. I love watching my favorite singers on DVD or favorite movies over and over. Sandra Bullock in "while you were sleeping", Dennis Quaid in "Frequency", Bill Pullman in "Casper", these I can veg out on. They warm my romantic soul. Plus I can do other things while I watch. Since I know the show so well, I really don't have to pay close attention, but it lifts my mood. Or even music CDs. I always have music on LOUD. Dancing is an amazing mood lifter. Check out your library. Most offer movies.
Peace be with you,

Anonymous said...

Are your friends from church helping you with the house? I know you wrote that they offered to help and you should take them up on it. I know its hard for you to ask for help but their help will speed the entire process along. Not sure why you had to have the ground level for the carport. Would have let them put it up and then worried about leveling later - once I was in the house. Sorry I can't offer to come and help. If you could see MY house you would know why!!!! Love, Marti

Grumpy Chair said...

I second the flylady suggestion. She has a link for tips on moving.

I make "lazy meals" out of Lean Cuisines and Amy's frozen dinners. (Good for portion control).

Best luck to you in getting your new home in order.

Cindy174 said...

What great suggestions. Myself, I could not have thought of any of them. I was stumped. Humor, somehow, worked into the day, maybe the radio playing while you are working, and the DVD's and CD's. If you can get something funny. I am suggesting this because I need something funny right now. big time. I still wish I could fly on up and help.

Lori said...

Ann's suggestion of music is a great one. Taking mandatory breaks during the day to get outside from the paint is also a good idea. Ten minutes isn't going to make or break your jobs. Just sitting outside with your eyes shut would be a good thing (I'm thinking that the weather hasn't turned ugly out there yet.) Use your cell phone as a timer when you do this so you can get back to work if you're afraid of falling asleep or something.

If you want to eat something, stop and at least enjoy it and savor it. I've done the gobble it all up in 30 seconds routine and I feel bad about the calories and I didn't even enjoy it thoroughly.

Maybe there are some other people you can call upon -- don't be shy about asking for help.

To be honest, a good little nap would probably really invigorate you too. Good luck and I wish I lived closer -- I'd help you as much as I could!