Life she is a changing. Spent yesterday digging a ditch in front of the garage to drain away the water in the garage. Much rain and then snow had created a swamp, with a carport over it. Nothing like digging a ditch in rocky muddy ground, in a snow storm to perk up a girl's flagging spirits. I am now just existing from day to day.
In clearing out stuff to move I found my passport. From 1975. For an aborted trip to Italy. I was supposed to go with a church group to sing and to "witness" to heathen Italians. Read, Catholic Italians. I let my supposed best friend talk me out of going because I was not "spiritual" enough. She said I was only going on the trip because I wanted to go to Italy. She was going, she said, "Because her heart was breaking for all those unsaved Italianos." I prayed about it and knew in my heart of hearts she was right. My heart was not breaking for all those hell bound Catholic Italians. My main reason for going was to see Italy. I felt awful for attempting to fool God and the pastor about my real motives. With shame in my voice I confessed my sinful desires in front of the whole church, and then backed out of the trip.
What a load of bullshit. Sally, my ersatz best friend, wanted her other friend Kim to go rather than me. But I had signed up first. When I unsigned my self, Kim went in my place. Later she and Sally were arrested for being drunk in a fountain. They came home to heroines' welcomes from the church in spite of it. And they had memories to last a life time.
The moral of this tawdry tale is, DO NOT LET OTHER PEOPLES NOTIONS OF RIGHT AND WRONG CONTROL YOUR LIFE. I was seventeen.
Back to packing. Take care of yourselves. Love Bea