Monday, October 1, 2007


I am noooo darn good at asking for it.

What is my problem? I feel like a dead beat if I ask for anything. Like I am taking advantage of people. Well, I did ask for some help. The nice neighbors came over and helped us lift an Ikea kitchen cabinet unit up onto the wall and screw it in. Was hard work as the 90 year old wood was like iron. But we got the thing up. It is not in the right spot, but that is another story.... Then I asked if they would help us haul the washer dryer unit over to the house. I am spending a small fortune at the washateria and could do the wash for free at new house. Well...they said yes, but reluctantly. I felt so embarrassed. I felt like a sponger from hell. But, we have to have the help. I feel better today, but still get hot and anxious when I think about the look on the neighbor's face at my request. I think I recognized it. I saw it a lot in the commodities lines when I was a kid. When my "betters" handed out that cheese and flour and beans they also handed out condemnation. I now see it on store clerks' faces as they cash single mothers' food stamps. Obviously I am still confused about the difference between friendly help and public "assistance." I am sure this is another blessing disguised as an opportunity to work out more junk from the past. I wish God would bless Mark for awhile instead of me.

I am getting excited about purging stuff. A girl in our congregation is renting her first apartment. I am giving her all my possessions I no longer need. What a relief to have a place to off load them. Poor thing, she is excited to be receiving all this junk. I guess it is not junk, just goods I no longer want. It is embarrassing to know I can furnish an entire apartment out of my excess.

Bedroom is done. Basement is done. I have tarpeted the living room and it is ready for painting. Mark starts to prep the laundry room for painting tonight. Doors and pavers and wood for sealing up the end of the carport have arrived. Still waiting for windows. This is going to happen. We are really going to move. Yippee.

Okay enough glee. I have to go over and start painting the coat closet in the living room this eve. Did I mention the number of closets in this house? Too darn many if you have to paint all of them. A generous amount if you want to store things. The skies are leaden and it is cold here. But I am warm of heart.

Take care of yourselves. Love Bea


Anonymous said...

I have no problem borrowing a ladder or asking a neighbor to help me/us (b/f and I) lift something heavy. He never wants to ask. If it only takes a few minutes to tackle the project I don't see what the big deal is about asking. Obviously it is NOT something I can do myself (lifting) so what else would I/could I do? This has happened when we had to move a TV, couch, whatever... now if I was moving moving (one house to another) I would hire movers or whatever.

Is it a male / female thing maybe? Are you the one that has to do the asking?

Anonymous said...

Maybe the look was just regearing for more work, when they thought they were done.

Just ask up front for all the tasks you want so people can prepare themselves mentally, if not physically. Did you have a hand truck?

Oh, and think of outfitting an apartment out of your abundance rather than be embarrassed.

We accumulate so easily and then forget to pass it on regularly.

It's all good.

Lori said...

I agree with anonymous..maybe the look had nothing to do with you asking for help. Think about the things you do for others (and I know you do things for others, don't deny it). Sometimes I am not a cheerful giver and other times I am. It still doesn't negate what I can do for someone. But it is a reminder for me to be more cheerful about it. (A sore spot of mine which I need to work on, trust me.)

My mother refused to ask for help when she was sick. I had to tell her that she was being selfish in denying people the opportunity to do something for her in return. Think of that way.

That is so awesome that this girl is getting your stuff. It's not junk and she gets to start a new life. She can use your things and see if it works for her and pass it along if it doesn't. Think of them as props for a new life. :-)

It sounds like everything is coming along nicely with the house. I bet it's beautiful.