Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Theorizing

Markovian Theory #4
"Women all over the country are getting away with spousal murder in the name of healthy eating. Flax seed, like broccoli bits, kills."

I bought more flax seed. Mark maintains I am attempting to do him in. "Why would you feed me this lethal stuff? I am a good provider and I love you." I have assured him I am only trying to reduce his cholesterol. "Feeding me ground glass that sand papers my bowels will not reduce my cholesterol. And, at this rate, I will soon need a bowel sleeve like those plastic liners they run through leaking sewer pipes." I told him he was exaggerating. "You say that now, but will you say that when I am face down in the hospital? How many of these Beano pills can I take at once?" Our "healthy" life style is at times an uphill battle.

Markovian Theory #5
"Viagra makes you go blind. In ten years all baby boom men will need white canes."

No comment.

Just went and gave blood again. How nice to do this very normal thing. Fat, I was afraid they wouldn't be able to find a vein and/or the chair would break. Now I just go in sit down and get on with it. I may not be at goal weight, but for today I am thin enough. Amen.

Take care of yourselves. Love Bea

7 comments:

Andrea K said...

"I may not be at goal weight, but for today I am thin enough. Amen."

Hallelujah. I feel the same way this week.

Your husband is hilarious! He may have to write a book or start his own blog of Markovian Theories.

Cindy174 said...

About flax, I bought a bag a while back, not knowing what to do with it. I opened it, and sprinkled it on something, and then put it away, not closed well. When I went to move I had flax seeds all over the pantry to clean. I still have the bag of flax. Any good suggestions on what to use it for, or what to sprinkle it on? I just have not had time to investigate.

Beula said...

Cindy, I am putting it on cereal. Tastes terrible. I know it must be marvelously healthy. I have also used it to ruin several nice baked potatoes. I don't really know what to do with it either.

BigAssBelle said...

thin enough is a wonderful concept. the Markovian Theories resonate with Mike, who shares those and more.

i used to get up mornings and down a hideous concoction of flax oil, garlic and lecithin. it will absolutely lower cholesterol if it doesn't kill you first.

i found myself burping nasty oily flaxy stuff all day. grotesque. i stopped. cholesterol be damned, some things are just too much to be borne.

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