In the past three days I have had a chocolate milk shake, fried chicken, crab & avocado salad, a prune danish, garlic mashed potatoes, various pasta salads, a steak, rye bread, two candy bars, several diet cokes and a brownie. I lost two pounds.
Fat is weird.
We had a wonderful time together on our anniversary trip. No snow and did lots of things. Did go to museum and see Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit. Also Blood and Ink exhibit. Was a history of the printing of the Bible. I was ambushed by this second exhibit. Museum had on loan several Books of Hours. My thesis was going to include two of the very books in the exhibit. My abandoned thesis. My failure. The reason I am not a professor of Medieval history but am instead a fatish blogger. I stood in front of the Guisse Book of Hours and cried. Very embarrassing. I am not a good crier. Too many years of shutting it off. But, cry I did. I had forgotten how much I loved church history. How we as Christians theologically got to where we are today fascinates me. The world of professional history. The world from which I was/am shut out. I had not expected to run into it in a smallish museum in Idaho Falls.
Will I ever be willing to make peace with my expensive failure? Who knows? As the list above denotes I did not attempt it this weekend. I bought a candy bar in the museum gift store and ate throughout the rest of the trip. The food did the trick. I was able to shut off my buried feelings and enjoy the time I had with Mark. Went mattress and pop-up camper shopping. And made a Wal-mart and Macy's run. In fact we ran most of the time we were there. Probably accounts for the two pound weight loss. Bought new "foundation" garments, i.e. new bras, underwear and slip. Also bought a "body shaper." Can't believe I bought this thing. I hate girdles. It does make my sheath style Easter dress look better. The whole underwear buying thing is a blog in itself.
Snowing today and I am pooped. Hot flashes, herpes attack and no sleep last noc. I am going to have to address this thesis thing. I would rather gain ten pounds than open it all up again. I am comfortable being an ex nurse. I am not comfortable being an ex medieval history grad student. Yes Ethels I realize I have just run into (or been given, Grace you know) one of the reasons for my "plateau." Fooey.
Take care of yourselves. Love Bea