What a day I'm having. A friend was in a rollover last eve and I am trying figure out if I am needed and if I want to go see her. Six people have called me so far today to find out if I am coming. I don't know. I do not have enough info. yet. I am not just going to jump in the car and drive 400 miles if she is in okayish shape. They dismissed her last eve after patching her up so I know she isn't dying. Mark is in the middle of a yucky trial and does not want to go until it is over. This would be Friday at the earliest. Friend and her husband are in their seventies. We are sort of like their children. Friend's husband said don't come, we already have enough trouble without entertaining you. Have not yet talked directly with the friend to find out what she wants. She totaled the car when she rolled it so I know they have no transportation. She also has a broken rib and a "bunged up" (whatever that means) shoulder. I could run them around and help set them up at home with care and supplies if needed. I could also provide moral support. We have been with them through their last few surgeries. Gad I don't know what to do. I do not want to go for a whole host of reasons, most selfish. This is my interminable bind.
I have spent my life "helping out" and I don't want to help out no more. Fine attitude for a friend and for a Christian. I wish love would motivate me to run to the rescue but it hasn't so far. And make no mistake I do love my friend. I just can't come up with the oomph to do all the necessary stuff to be gone for 3-5 days. What a creep I am. I chose not to take care of a dear aunt as she was dying and have felt guilty ever since. This is more of the same. I don't know what is the "right" thing to do. Should I rush to the rescue if I don't want to? I don't know that my friend would expect it, but their friends sure do. My friends do not have children. If they lived closer I would be there in a shot. Listened to a sermon this very morning about selfishness. Apparently none of it stuck. If I was sick I sure would like my friends to rally round. Maybe we can go this weekend. Gad what a creep I am. This is the end of this rambling post.
Take care of yourselves 'cause I sure don't want to. Love, the Creep.