Friday, February 8, 2008


This is what happens when you read words you have no idea how to pronounce.

Neighbor just gave up with the snow blower. From my erie I can see the whole town. He went inside no doubt to weigh the dog and contemplate how much eating he could get out of it when WE ARE ALL MAROONED IN OUR HOUSES FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE WINTER. Still snowing. I am grateful we have electricity and no tornadoes.

I have had two epiphanies since Wednesday. Have already forgotten one. Don't you just love menopause? The other one has stayed with me. Are you ready? Here less. And for that you had your suit spotted and shoes shined.

I was praying about my fat. I do that a lot. I was also plotting a renewed campaign of magic food combinations. Now God, I said, please help me to eat more protein and less carbs. And direct my intake of fiber. Guide me to recipes containing some remnant of taste. Help me to not eat salt and caffeine. Please provide the gumption and finances to purchase and eat only whole living foods. Lead me into knowledge about vitamins and minerals and spices. Will chromium and cinnamon really reduce my blood sugar? Let me only eat three balanced meals a day and a protein rich bedtime snack. Make me hate chocolate. In your name, Amen.

Quick as a wink I was enveloped in love, humor and peace. A peace I am having a hard time describing. But I'll try. Have you ever been in pain, bad pain, and been given a high powered pain killer? When it first begins to work and brings that feeling of ease and freedom as you stretch tight limbs and take deep breaths. You roll your shoulders and wiggle your toes. You sort of sit up and begin to take notice of life. The sweet lassitude of all being right with the world pervades your soul. That is the sort of peace I felt. Like coming home after a horrible taxing journey. I could relax. Then this voice filled with wry loving laughter said, "Honey, why don't you just eat less." I knew I had heard the voice of God. And it all made perfect sense. I could see my way clear. For about a minute.

Then the clouds closed. What about the cravings? What about motivation? What about hunger? What about the solace of solitary snacking? What about volume? What about sugar driven binges? What about the magic combinations of carbs and proteins guaranteed to keep my fat storing blood sugar in check? What about addiction and compulsion? Dear God what about fiber?

Eat less.

Less of what? Less protein, carbs, sugar, green leafy veg, soy protein powder, salsa?

Eat less.

I am still reeling from the implications of these two words. Eat less. Of everything. No plotting or planning or plaguing my food. No weighing or measuring or time to brood? (I need to nip this Dr. Seuss phraseology in the bud.) I know about nutrition. I know about diet strategy. They are second nature. I don't need to figure out what I need to eat, or when I need to eat. I already know that. I just need less.

Take care. Your epifannied one, Bea.


Helen said...

"Epiphany" is my favorite word...I like how it sounds and what it means. :-)

Where ARE you? Sounds like where we were in Utah last snowed literally every day. It was fun for skiing and vacation, but I saw immediately how non-fun it would be to have to shovel every day, worry about falling down on ice or skidding in the car, etc. I'm glad I have cold winters as an option, not as mandatory since my move to SoCal. :-)

Hang in...I do miss the snow...sending some sunny beachy energy to you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Bea,

Oh, my God, I belly laughed out loud. This is one of the most wonderful posts you have done. I love epifannies, forgetting one; and have a new mantra- eat less!

Today is in the 50's! Snow about but blue sky. It has filled my soul again. Thank God!

Love, Ethel

Nory Roth said...

D'you suppose it was like that for Moses? No wonder God had to inscribe the rules in stone! This was such a great post!

Eat less, eat less, eat less! It's like a little cheering section in my brain......very funny!

Anne M. said...

You got it in a nutshell: eat less. I love this image: 'Then this voice filled with wry loving laughter said, "Honey, why don't you just eat less." I knew I had heard the voice of God.'

It's interesting that that was the response you got to your lovely prayer for help about being guided to recipes, managing fat and carbs, protein-rich snacks, etc. The real answer is so simple - eat less.

But it's hard to do because we think it has to be more complicated, that there's a formula for the right combo of nutrients when the secret is, eat what you want but eat less of it.

Hang in there through the snow. It will end sometime and you will cherish the spring all the more.

ar said...

Ohhh Bea .... now this is a classic one for "me" and EXACTLY where I am. Except of course you have this wonderful way with words. I also had that peace and "certainty" on Saturday evening. Sunday is our first day of the week here in the UAE, and well, within an hour at work everything frazzled. Do you think there is an element of habit here as well, in the thinking?

Think part of me is shrieking: "I can't stand it anymore"! This weekend I was thinking how wonderful it would be if there was a special CD that you can connect up to earplugs and it gives you that "instant peace" that you were talking about. So imagine if you were going into the doubt part and all you need to do is to put the CD on, without having to do the "hard work CD" relax the toes and the feet and the legs routine. This CD has to be instant and just immerse you in instant peace. Even nicer would be a jabber with a light electrode attached to it, and the moment you start to think anti-resolve, to sort out your whole aura and thinking with the jab for instant peace and release from all this stress and pressure thoughts. Turn off the switch! Ahhhhh wouldn't that be heaven!

Thanks Bea ... a wonderful blog ... again ... ar

ar said...

Bea ... you have me going now, just had a look at the blog and all the comments again ... and the remark about "eat less". Just wondering whether the key is in the thinking about "eating less", and the solution is in "think less" and "eat less" will follow?

I really feel like going to a body parts shop, take my head off and ask for an exchange. Just imagine if we could stop thinking about food. It is logical that we would "eat less". As I was catching myself this weekend over and over eating more "to prepare myself for eating less" on Sunday. Just that one last binge, or, I CAN have that as I am not on the diet yet!!! And ALL of it in the thinking! Sort of underlines the common theory of we become our thinking, our peace and our doubts. ALL of our thoughts ALL of the time, so I am probably badly in need of a complete overhaul in my thinking. Help! ar

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