Thursday, February 21, 2008

Nurture Vs. Pamper, II

Thank you all. Why didn't and don't I ask for help straight out instead of hinting and hoping someone will assist me? Was a good lesson. Mark tells me the same thing all the time. "If you want me to help you, ask, and then give me a time frame." I tell him I feel like I am hen pecking him. He says yes but the rooster always has the option of saying no. Men are just odd. But cute, very, very cute. Markovian theory: Cute is a four letter word best not uttered in polite company.

Vickie and Speck I continue to mull over your info. I was not surprised about pamper meaning to gratify. That is certainly what I was taught. Lest you harbor any misconceptions, to be gratified in my world was to be selfish and/or sinful. I was surprised about the archaic meaning. Wouldn't you know it would have to do with food. Nurture = to meet mostly non-physical needs. This is profound Speck. Because as is obvious, I am attempting to nurture my "self" with my pampering food. Thanks Arlene. You said the same thing.

My work oriented families confused the two. I am just beginning to realize how much. See and hear this message niece/friend o'mine. The only soul fulfilling thing I was permitted was church. I am smarter than a bread box and church, as I understood it then, was barren and boring. So I began to read. This filled half of the unurtured hole. But if you eat while you read, Nirvana. For me at least the other half of the whole/hole was complete. My soul cried out for nourishment and there wasn't any in my environment. Not so unusual in second generation blue collar immigrant families. So I read. But you can't carry a book while working. You can damn well eat though. So I ate. As did all the other soul starved women around me.

Alrighty then. Eating to nurture my soul is a deeply ingrained habit. Habits can be changed.

What nurtures me? Not in order of importance.
1. Massages.
2. Travel. Not far or exotic, just new. Further explains why I lose weight on vacation doesn't it?
3. Uncluttered time. A loaded statement worthy of ten blogs.
4. Mystery. Horatio I need to get back to my study of Christian mysticism.
5. Writing.
6. The damn dog.
7. Mark rubbing my feet.
8. Picnics.
9. A new book. This one is scary because it is so intertwined with the eating.
10. Old English movies.
11. Not gardening. I thought I loved gardening. I don't. I just love the results.
12. Not sewing. See above.
13. High tea with friends. Do I love the friends or the little cakes and sandwiches?
14. Camping. I love to go camping. I don't care if it rains. No snow. I hate to camp in the snow.
15. Walking if I know there are no scary dogs.
16. Dancing. I love to dance. Mark hates it. No place here to dance except the bars and the LDS dances. I guess dancing with a Mormon (I'm kidding) wouldn't kill me. Better than dancing with a drunk.
17. I think probably yoga. No teachers here and I about killed myself the last couple of times I tried it on my own.
18. Being early for appointments so I can sit and read year old magazines.
19. Going to the movies if the movie is not violent or embarrassing.
20. Playing Gin with Mark. I'm good at it.

Gad, that is a bunch. I challenge you to come up with your own list. Next time I will do a list of what doesn't nourish me. Thank you all again for your life saving comments.

Love Bea


ar said...

Thanks Bea. Really thought-provoking like an assignment. Have to go and sit down and think about it. You have such a long and "alive" list. Think mine would have to start with "moving". I.e. as opposite to "sitting". Going for walks at night with stars blinking and moon winking. Listening to music. Resting on the couch after a very busy busy stressful day. Think cleaning is nurturing for me, it does something. Having a bath is more than nurturing for me. Having my weekly "scrub" bath is even better. Writing blogs are nurturing. Eating of the feeding the body variety can be nurturing. Certain portions of being in love can be nurturing (haven't felt that in a while, seeing that there are different versions of love am trying to identify those that do not need a guy in them - for now). Buying gifts for people I care about - without it being routine. Browsing in book and record shops. Wow! They are coming .... am going to sit down and work on it. THAT IS NURTURING :>)

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Vickie said...

Can you read in the bathtub ??? This has worked very well for me in the past - and yes, I have to drain all the water out and refill - several times for major warm ups. But, I don't get out and go get anything (food).

Cindy164 said...

What a great idea, making a list of nurturing activities. I think I will do the same. When I was reading this I was thinking that snuggling up to manfriend, who pats me while I am snuggled up is very nurturing. I wanted to leave the office and slip over to his place (not very far at all) where I know he is napping. Sort of like the Mark foot rub. Knowing how to get our needs met and being brave enough to ask for things is a big step. Thanks for writing about this. Like I always say - You are awesome!

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