Monday, March 12, 2007

Thank My Fat

That is my next assignment. Touch the icky stuff all over my body and thank it for the wisdom and help it has given me over the years. WHEN PIGS FLY. I am in sullen rebellion. I am instructed to do this idiot thing naked while applying lotion. AAARRRGGG. No way. No how. I have a month to accomplish the assignment. I will start small. I will put cream on my heels. ( Think about it. How much fat do we actually have on our heels?) I hate this.

Disclaimer: I am a traditional Christian and worship the Creator and not His creations. I was/am a nurse and am grounded in the western medical model of health care. That being said, I wouldn't be at all surprised if our cells radiated energy. I'm just not sure we are smart enough to regulate said energy.

I went in Friday for my haircut. A very different atmosphere in the shop. Sonia's (my massage therapist) sister was there. Sister is also a beautician and was helping out as Sonia is swamped. Sonia is getting ready to go to Israel and Egypt and everyone in the valley is attempting to see her before she leaves. I knew something was different when I attempted to tell Sonia about results of first assignment. Sister overheard and said, "Oh God, another one. My sister is inflicting that hokum on everyone." I was stunned and Sonia looked defeated. I felt very protective of her and attempted to quickly change the subject. I asked her if she had always wanted to travel. Sister said, "She is looking for enlightenment. Going to go to Egypt and climb one of those pyramids so she can sit on the top with a crystal taped to her forehead. She'll be lucky if some Muslim doesn't shoot her." Sonia stood up and leaned over backwards a little holding onto her lower back. "Back still hurt Sis" the sister asked? I now understood why Sonia was so effective in teaching me about body emotion. Another customer came in and the talk turned to children and the sister's recent divorce.

After a very cute hair cut and dye job Sonia took me back to her massage room. "I have something I want to try on you she said. I am learning about Colour Puncture and don't have anyone to practise on." After my observation of the wicked sister I'd have been willing to let her attempt to pierce my navel. Okay I said.

She brings out this case filled with what looks like a small otoscope base and five or six pencil shaped pieces of glass. Each glass rod had a different color on the tip. She puts a glass rod in the base, turns it on and presto, a tiny light saber. The colored light saber, she explains, vibrates energy. Every color has a different vibration frequency. The appropriate colored saber is touched to various acupressure sites on the body. The vibrations from the saber interact and effect the vibration of the body's energy meridians thereby releasing or strengthening energy where needed to promote health. I am skeptical, but Horatio I am game. She lightly touches points on my face with the red, gray and yellow rods. Doesn't hurt and only takes a few minutes. "What is it supposed to do I ask." "Well I'm not exactly sure she says." Now she tells me she's not sure. Crap. "Let me know if anything unusual happens she says." Okay I say weakly.

We move on to other stuff. I tell her about my body emotion. She is delighted and tells me to continue to look for more. I tell her I am writing about her to friends. She says to be sure and tell them she is still learning. I assure her I will pass the info along. I ask her about any books she is using. She recommends, "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die..." by Karol K. Truman. Suddenly the sister pops in. "What are you doing in here? You've got customers backed up three deep. Hurry up." We get up to leave. I wish Sonia happy travels and we part. "Oh Beula," she calls out as I am departing, "Your assignment while I am gone is to THANK YOUR FAT."

I am now home. I went out and bought the book. Sonia is LDS. She believes in Chakras, Meridians and the power of crystals. She believes in affirmations and the power of the subconscious to change behavior. I do not really in my faith heart believe in any of these things. That being said, it is quite a book. Very thought provoking.

Take care of yourselves Love Bea

P.S. Husband believes the whole world is in menopause. He then amended the statement, "Actually no, I guess it just feels like it." sigh


Debra said...

I agree that there's a lot to thank your fat for, most especially, for protecting your essential self until you believed it was safe enough to come out. We all owe our fat a debt of gratitude for this (even if we're pissed off at it for making our lives so much harder in other ways).

Cindy174 said...

Well, I think I will try the thanking my fat deal, and I will report back. I can also relate to the evil sister thing. I felt for her while I read the sister remarks. My sister used to make negative comments about my life. Now she picks on my kids, but encourages me. She is a picker, but she lives pretty far away and we don't see her that much. We try to look at the good points about her and not take her too seriously. So, did the light thing have any effects?

Beula said...

Cindy, I'm not sure. Had cosmic melt down over weekend and am not sure if is hormone or light related. Lights were supposed to help me "release" I think. I released alright, all over everyone. Many dreams about being trapped in various nursing jobs. I think that might be processing of old stuff, but who knows. I am wandering far afield of my known territory.

Let me know how "thanking" goes. I am learning to at least make contact with my body but it is heavy sledding. Cheers.

BigAssBelle said...

yeah, i'll thank it as it vaporizes into the ether ;-)

i once had a sponsor in oa who insisted that we needed to get naked and stand side by side in front of the huge mirror in my hallway. this was an effort to come to terms with ourselves and learn to love ourselves in our imperfections.

thank you, but no. not getting naked with a sponsor. nope.

this, though, intrigues me. i do "feel" an element of truth in this. i recognize that much of my eating behavior throughout the years was a response to pain, to extreme stress, to situations unbearable with the tools i had at the time.

in that sense, i can say thank you to the food for needed numbness and to the fat for the insulation it provided from so much of the world.

for a period of time. as with any coper, at least where i'm concerned, there's a time and place but i don't generally know it. the food served a purpose. QUIT ALREADY! the fat served a purpose. IT'S OVER. now i'm stuck with the habit of food, with the remnants of my needful eating stuck all over my body.

i am so much better on the inside. it seems impossible i still need to get rid of this fat and that i still struggle with the food.

nevertheless. nevertheless. here i am. struggling. hopeful, but struggling.

hope you are well, bea. hugs, lynette