I am not quite buying the whole food addiction thing.
I can't believe I just wrote that. I have lost 65 pounds as a result of the addiction mindset.
Ding, bing, bong, ker-pow, zowey, light bulb comes on, epiphany. It is a mindset. Mindset, a mind which has been set. "Mind" means in my thinking, not in my body. And if my mind has been set it can be unset. If it can be unset it is not locked in one spot. Change is possible. I am not just at the whim of my physiology. I have a choice. I do not have to live one unguarded mouthful away from relapse and 245 pounds. Imagine me jigging around my computer chair. Woo, woo. woo.
Okay down to cases. A yearish ago desperate and despised (by me) I bought books by Kay Sheppard and Frances Kuffel. Both were a fluke and sort of fell off the shelf at me. I read Kay's "From The First Bite" first. Made perfect sense to my mind. Then I read "Passing For Thin." Touched my heart, and reinforced what Kay had said. I believe God sent both books to me. I began doing Kay's plan and found Frances and support at the "angry fat girlz" blog. The weight began rolling off.
Then we had to move. (This statement should be accompanied by a dull thudding sound.) I was at 179 when we moved. I went eating nuts for the first while we were here and did not gain a pound. I was unpacking boxes from dawn until dusk and eating three huge non-abstinent meals a day. I did not binge. I didn't have the time. I lost weight, 178. Bells should be ringing again here. Eventually all the boxes were unpacked. I quit eating like a demented mowing machine and went back to Kay's regimented plan. And I gained weight, 180-183. What the hey? I have kept on with the Kay's plan (sort of) but was/am very, very discouraged.
In the midst of this frustration I recently stumbled into the "Baby Steps V" blog. Vickie (author) is also following Kay's food plan. With a twist. She does not view her food plan as abstinent but as "healthy." She also occasionally has pizza or chinese with her family and does not seem to get bent out of shape about it or go on month long binges after. Very odd. In spite of my own experience with my Whopper and Hershey Pie unpacking diet I still believe/believed if one bite of sugar or flour passed my lips I was/am doomed to relapse. But something is niggling at my brain. Is there a difference between healthy eating and abstinence?
Next time... bad habits, cravings vs. stimuli, psychological dependence vs. physiological dependence, moral failure vs. disease, the Wendie Plan and much, much more. Stay tuned.
Take care of yourselves. Love Bea