Wednesday, January 16, 2008


Bright and sunny but cold (-12) here today.

I have been thinking about hope. What is it? And how do I get some?

I am studying up on hope. I live from day to day. I plan from day to day. I habitually do not look more than twenty four hours in advance. In my personal life I am reactive rather than proactive. In my professional life I prided myself on being proactive. I looked ahead to probable snags, and worked to forestall them. I had a knack for seeing the snags. I have never looked ahead for probable blessings.

I live completely in the now. I have always thought this was a good thing. A child of the moment, you know? I have changed my mind. Hope is future oriented. And I want to be hopeful. So I need to be future oriented.

As a Christian I say I believe I have become an eternal being. But do I really believe it? If I did would I get so bent out of shape over events in the now? I am in the process of storing up treasures on this plane rather than in heaven. My life in the here and now is the first glimpse into eternity. And I see through a glass darkly. I keep forgetting that. My vision is blurred by my humanity. But hope clears the vision. If I have hope this life that has hung so heavy on me as of late will be a blessing.

So I am studying up on hope. I am trying to change my perspective on the future.

Hopefully yours, Bea


Vickie said...

On Monday - I told my therapist that I get up each day with NO expectation what so ever. I expected her to tell me that we needed to work on that - instead she told me that might be a good thing. I have no hope either. And somehow that helps even me out. I do what I need to do each day, for that day. I take care of things as they present themselves. My psychiatrist tells me to keep things as even as possible. Is this the same thing? Don't know. Still pondering all of the above.

I was in bed - sick as a dog - for all of my middle pregnancy. Two things kept it bearable - one way or the other, I knew it would all be done in march of that year - because that was when the baby was due (middle child) - and knowing that I would live through it. I got up every day - expecting that day to be the same - no expectation that it would be BETTER - and that was good - because it never was better. Even-ness I guess.

I am not saying that you should not look for hope. I will enjoy reading about your quest for hope.

I am just saying that I think I might be pulling on the same stick - just from the other end.

daisyk said...

What an interesting topic, B. When I pray & meditate in the morning, I usually go over ten things I look forward to in the day. Three are meals, of course. The coffee & cigarettes I'm enjoying is another. Then I'm in free fall to find the other six. Mail is usually involved. Sitting down with all the dogs & being mobbed by tongues is another.

So that's six.

The last four are harder. But I HAVE to find them. Knowing I'll have those moments of gratification during the day makes me aware of when I get a bonus -- running into someone who makes me laugh or makes Daisy GLAD, the pleasure I hadn't anticipated in a magazine, whatever. If it wasn't on my list I'm much more aware of serendipity & an increased awareness that serendipity happens gives me...hope...

Anonymous said...

I way I look at it hope is but one of the three. If I'm running short on hope then I will put my best efforts into faith and charity and wait for hope to catch up.

Anonymous said...

"The way I look at it...."

I hope someday to avoid so many typos!

Anonymous said...

Keep me abreast of your search. The cubbyhole in my heart is empty of hope and the darkness is expanding into all the other former areas of light. I am a little worried for me.

ar said...

What exactly is hope? For me hope goes much deeper than expectations and is connected with our life force. It is almost like the generator of our life force. It is also connected with faith and love. If there is no hope, then I cannot believe that there could be life. Hope is eternal and deeply etched in our consciousness, always in the background. For me it is an indicator of the degree at which we are living, the stronger the hope, the stronger our life force.

People in concentration camps for example survived on hope. The stronger the "hope" the more intense the will for survival.

For me "no expectations" would make hope grow stronger. The more we can endure, the stronger the hope? The stronger the hope, the more we can endure?


tiger said...

I love it! Very creative!That's actually really cool.