Why do I assume present pain is going to be permanent? Lack of faith at the outset, but deeper problem than that I think. I read somewhere during the past week that almost all chronic overeaters are incapable of envisioning happy endings.
When beset by unpleasant circumstances I am immediately overwhelmed. I feel crushed, squashed down, incapable of meeting the problem, and certainly unable to see beyond it. And yet I am known as a genius at problem solving. I come up with an almost instantaneous plan to meet whatever adversity I encounter. My quick thinking has saved many a day for myself and others. But during the crisis I imagine it will never end and I will be called upon to endure the present pain forever. Hence the eating. I eat to relieve the stress and pain of what I perceive as an intransigent problem. Guess what? The pain never lasts.
Do you suppose this is from a childhood of blows I couldn't ward off? What is my deal? I choose to believe God loves me and wants to give me an abundant life. I am already living out some of that. But, still I wait for the other shoe to drop. Lack of faith.
I have also been thinking about God as Father in Heaven. I have to say from my viewpoint, my Father has been damn unreliable. What use is a father who loves but refuses to protect? This dog deal is allowing me to bring old stuff out into the light. How am I to trust a Father/God who allows such suffering while all the propaganda assures us of His love and protection?
Paradigm shift: I misunderstand the love of God. I got no idea under Heaven about an earthly father's love and I don't understand a Heavenly Father's love. I may have badly mixed the two. So...I choose to believe my father God can handle my anger at His apparent inaction. I choose to look for happy endings and miracles. And I ask for wisdom.
Take care of yourselves. Love Bea