Something has shifted. I can feel it. I received my Intuitive Eating books. Am in the midst of the first one. "First one" being arbitrary as it was on top of the pile. My stars! ( I am trying to find a replacement for foul mouthed expletives.) This is another answer. I am having the same reaction as I did to Kay Shepperd's food plan..."I can do this." I reject the whole stringent addiction model of eating. One slice of cheesecake does not a craving lunatic make.
Thus far the my major learning has been about "treats." If I want the taste of a Snickers almond bar, I can purchase said bar, take a huge bite of it, and throw the rest out. I in fact did this. Okay, I didn't throw it out, Mark ate it. But I was ready to throw it out. I can also eat half a bowl of popcorn with real butter and sea salt. Why was I eating air popped corn covered in yeast flakes? I can eat three fourths of a chicken fajita, two onion rings and half a peanut butter shake. I eat and check to see when I am full. I hope to eventually recognize satisfaction before I get to full. When I am full/satisfied, I stop. I can have treats!!!!! Light bulb moment, when I "treat" myself, I am easily satisfied.
I have been living in a world of want for twenty five years. Wonderful tasty food has been off limit. If it tasted good I spit it out. But what if I could have calorie laden goodies as, goodies? Not daily. I want to be healthy and grow older. Hazelnut mocha ice cream daily will not allow me to reach eighty. And I want to be eighty. Like Mary. But I can have it as a treat. Mary permits herself food "treats" from time to time. Real cream in her daily cup of coffee is a treat. Ice cream on Sunday afternoons is a weekly treat. BLT's she has once a month. A gracious way of living.
But what about, "If I have one bite I have to eat the box too?" Intuitive eating is about satisfaction. My appetite for food can be satisfied. I believe this. I am not possessed by the black hole. If I am feeding my body and not my emotions or my lust for food, I can be satisfied. I have a life long habit of feeding both emotions and gluttony. Will take a while to form new habits. I am motivated to persevere because I can be satisfied! A gift from God.
Cravings are normal. Normal eaters get them. Pickles and ice cream did not get to be a stereotype for nothing. If I am not hungry and I want to eat, I am most likely having a craving. Cravings can be caused by anything. I have started giving in to them. I had a small chunk of smoked Gorgonzola cheese on a crunchy cracker at 9:30 this morning. One small chunk on one cracker. I knew I wasn't hungry so did not need a big amount of food. But I wanted cheese and a cracker, so I ate one. Treat city. I may become a one bite sybarite.
If I am feeding my emotions or my gluttony there is no end to my hunger. Psychological problems CANNOT be relieved by physical means, i.e. food. Gluttony is a sin, and God not food, is the only answer. The hard part: feeling my emotions, and stopping at satisfaction not sated.
So far, so good. Takes a bunch of time. I imagine it will get quicker as I figure out what exactly I am emoting about and kick the habit of huge portions. I am using Kay's food plan as my base. This will be my lifelong default eating pattern. It is healthy, howbeit, a bit boring. I want to be healthy. Blueberries and oatmeal are better for my body than cheese enchiladas. But a couple of enchiladas a month are a treat and non-life threatening. I can finally stop living like a food nun. Whoopee.
Treat yourselves. Love Bea