We are going to move. I keep expecting the bank to call and renege on the loan. Trust me to decide to buy a house in the midst of the worst lending crisis in the past twenty years. I watch the news and the phone, and wait. But, so far, so good.
You would think I would be excited. I'm not. I know what is ahead of me. I want to move...and I dread all the work it is going to take. Is a metaphor for my life. It is not the work I fear, it is the overwhelmedness and the fatigue. I am not a good pacer. I procrastinate and then panic and go at stuff like I am killing snakes. It wears me out. This pattern gets harder and harder with each passing year.
We have the month of September to move. In that month we have to clean the whole house, paint the inside of the whole house (it was a rental), put in two new windows, get some wiring done, put up a shed, and put up three storm doors. We also need to get a free standing car port installed. I also have to pack up this house and have a garage sale. I have to schedule the U-Haul and find people to help us load and unload. I can no longer carry washers and fridges. One of the lawyers in Mark's office quit so he is commuting 100 miles one way twice a week to fill in. At this point it looks like he won't be able to take much time off. I spent the morning sorting paper clips.
Okay this is a new house. My life will have new boundaries (a six foot white vinyl one for starters) and I have the option of letting in more help. Okay, I need help. I do not know how I am going to get all of this done. I have been dreaming about rushing around and losing my purse, car, shoes, swimming suit(?), and husband. I am attempting to fight off overwhelmedness. The more I fight off the fear, the less I move. I am wasting energy and time.
Set priorities. Be realistic. We may not get the whole house painted before we move in. I may not get the garage sale done. We may end up in a jumbled mess in a less than idea situation come October first. With no garage. Did I mention money is tight. We are moving from a comfortable big house into an uncomfortable little house. I just did this ten months ago. I want to stand around and sob. I am angry. And this was all my idea. Am I nuts?
I have prayed for energy, courage, clear thinking and humor. I think that about covers the waterfront. Okay, I am going out and price washers and dryers this afternoon. I will call around and see if any one sells sheet rock and molding. I will go look at paint colors.
Maybe I am just a little excited. Tee Hee. Take care of yourselves. Love Bea
P.S. Markovian Theory: Deer turn into elk on or around September 7th. The time of the annual change is dependant mostly on temperature gradients. Feed and/or elevation do not seem to affect the metamorphosis. The skins the deer shed (cocoons) are marked in red by the Forest Service and are reserved for the bears. We live in a tourist area. They have many questions. Mark has the answers.
5 comments:
First things first. Get your wiring done (safety first). Most home improvement stores will install the storm doors for you.
Do you live near any students or groups of large men that you can hire for the day at $10/hr and/or beer? I did this once with a friend and it was the smartest $80 I spent. Plus we got to see strapping young men carry about 10,000 bags of clothes she owned.
Just break things down into doable steps. I'm sure Mark can find someone to help move too. (I suppose calling it community service might be an abuse of power...*smile*.)
Look at this being the last move for a long, long time or until you do major renovations. It will be okay. Have some fun with this like picking out the colors.
Another suggestion (if needed);
whenever I moved (last move 21 years ago-thank God) I contacted the day labor office in town. They always have unemployed people willing to work for a few hours, you set the wages. They are usually happy with $7-8 hour, and I always fed them. Big pot of chili/corn bread.Cheap, easy to prepare in a crock pot and feeds a crowd.
I've always found the men pleasant and hard working. I've never contracted women, but I'll bet they'd be really handy with packing/sorting, cleaning, etc.
Once this house is "yours" I'll bet we see a calmer you in your writing. Remember everything is topsy-turvy right now, but you'll survive this. Just breathe. and prioritize everyday. You've made the decision-now move forward.
We'll be here behind you.
Annimal
Just looked back of your original post about the house your buying. I thought it had all new paint, etc. so guess you don't like the colors? Sherry wondered if you wanted the FMP ladies to pack your kitchen for you????? I'd offer to come and help but I am pretty useless at actualing packing - good at directing other people how to do it!!! Moving just 5 miles you don't have to pack so much - just move it car load by carload. Love, Marti
You will get moved and you will be okay. You just moved not long ago so no wonder you are feeling the way you are. Moving is HUGE. But it happens, it takes on a life of its own. You will do each day things toward moving. Each day, you will be closer to being finished. Sure, some things may not get finished, but the most important ones will. I am still unable to walk in my walk in closet because it is piled with things I hid after I moved. But it will get taken care of eventually. I would love to fly out and help. It would be such fun.
And, you are right, moving is hard.
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