Monday, July 2, 2007

Waiting

I am waiting for Friend Kim to arrive. Whole darn house is clean. At the same time. Yard is mowed and I am doing the last of the laundry. I even brushed the cats. Only thing I have not done is plan the meals....

I am paralyzed. Haven't grocery shopped or anything. Kim is bringing her Nutrisystems so she is not the problem. It's me. This Intuitive Eating is mixing me up. I am so accustomed to doing my food plan that any deviation sends me into binge land. Not whole cheese cake kind of binges but binges none the less. Scary. Very scary.

Andrea's post today helped. Me and my boundaries. This is apparently my life lesson. Build and maintain appropriate boundaries. I wish God would fix me all at once instead of this little by little stuff. I want to be the kind of woman who can stare down a desperate Sunday school coordinator, say a good firm "No," and walk away with out looking back. Or feeling guilty. Please God help me not to swear in front of a bunch of teenagers. Teenagers. Why oh why did I agree to do this? First the choir and now this. Send in the cheesecake.

Alright. I feel better now. I will do my food plan this week. When we go out I will not go nuts and will watch how Mark eats. I will eat like that. Help me God. Amen.

Planning hikes in both Teton and Yellowstone parks. That should burn off a few calories. Gad it is georgeous here. I love Wyoming.

Take care of yourselves. Love Bea

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Really enjoy your writing. Hope you have a fun filled visit with Kim and then hurry back to us.

Cindy174 said...

Catching up on your last couple of posts. Sometimes I crave lettuce. I think I intuitive eat much of the time these days but if it gets out of hand I go back to a plan. But I can't get to strict or I freak and want a gallon of ice cream. I hope you have fun with friend Kim. I love the writing about feeling your feeling and coming out on the other side. I have just had a huge incidence with that. I think my whole life is one big giant feeling. Take care and have fun!!!